High life
Sweet charity
Taki
New York ?This is the gayest — and I use the word in its original meaning — time of the year to be in New York. During November and early December New York hostesses go into a partying frenzy. To such an extent, in fact, that statistics show that there are as many parties taking place as there are peo- 'One did expect to cater for minority audiences — but not exclusively.' pie being murdered. One party every 64 seconds, I believe. Receiving an invitation, however, can be a very expensive business. Here's why. There are more social climbers in New York than there are phonies in Los Angeles, and as any supply side economist will tell you, market forces always win out. Social climbers cannot climb if they are stuck at home. As no one in his right mind wants to come into contact with them, a few bright souls invented the charity ball a while back. All a social climber has to do is get on the sucker's list and start paying out. After a while his or her name begins to appear in the gossip columns as a patron of the arts etc. Out of the 200-odd names that keep popping up in the social columns of New York, 190 are of the climbing, paying type. The other ten are more often than not im- poverished climbers who made it half a generation back. C'est tout. The mecca of the charity ball is the Metropolitan Museum. The Met is to a climber what Sidi Bel Abbes used to be to the Foreign Legion. In the two weeks that I've been here it has been the venue of the following parties. One given by Harry Winston Jewels, one by the egregious seamster Valentino (Rodolfo Vazelino is what we heterosexuals call him) and one last Monday night by the high priestess of fashion, Diane Vreeland. The theme of the last party was la belle epoque, the price a mere 500 dollars per person, and people fought over the chance to fork out as if it was for a place in Noah's Ark. But when you think that the list closed about six months ago you should get an idea how desperate people are to see and be seen. It seems people were offering ten times the amount for a ticket —or invita- tion, rather. I never found out what the charity was but one thing I am sure of: it wasn't for social diseases. They have not as yet become fashionable, but when they do, which they will, the organisers will probably have to leave the Met and move up to Yankee Stadium. Speaking of fashionable charities and diseases, no social climber has latched on to herpes as yet. Herpes is still available. If I had to bet I'd wager that it will be either Halston (yet another seamster) or Bianca Jagger who will be the chairperson for the ball to benefit herpes sufferers. Incidental- ly, I ran into the ghastly Bianca last week at a luncheon, and for once she came in han- dy. I told my host that it was impossible for me to remain at the same table with so- meone who knows only about drugs and homosexual dress designers, yet is allowed to go in front of some UN committee and talk about American crimes in El Salvador. 'But what do you care. She's an idiot, a joke,' my host said. But I insisted. The reason was that I had to train with my sensei, and lunchtime was the only time he could take me. Although there are some doubting Mark Amory will resume his theatre colutnn next week. Thomases who think that very little of the money ever gets to the charity in question, 1 do believe that something does trickle through. That is, after everything is paid off. Which means a very small amount of the sum that is raised ever gets to do anything good, but it is still better than nothing. Take, for example, last week's charity party for the blind. Andy Warhol was the chairman and chief money-raiser. The blind probably did get something in the end, and they suffered less than the people who attended and contributed as they were spared seeing the paintings of Andy, who, predictably, had a battalion of paparazzi. making sure that posterity would remember him as a charitable person. And, I almost forgot, there is something else that makes charity balls popular. They are tax- deductible. Imagine. One can climb to his or her heart's content and still take it off one's income tax. Almost too good to be true.
I only hope this system of charity ball and tax deduction becomes popular in England. Think of all the fun I will have. People like Sebastian Taylor and Nona Summers hit- ting the gossip columns daily while atten- ding one charity after another. We might even forget Princess Margaret and her favourite charities. Who knows, anything can happen. English society might even begin to change. Charitable social climbers of England unite. The only loser will be the Inland Revenue.
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