Q. I have a VAT inspection looming in my own
home. Despite my best efforts, I am not sure my books are in order. How should I best ingratiate myself with the inspector?
S. W, London W11 A. Why not take a tip from one VAT inspection veteran of my acquaintance who tells me he always shows the inspector into an overheated room and immediately unwraps a couple of packets of lusciously moist Marks & Spencer prawn sandwiches. 'You must be starving.' he announces as he puts them under the inspector's nose. All too soon the inspector's hand will be drawn to the sandwiches which, being starch, protein and dairy-product combined, serve as a stupefacient. Before long the heat of the room and the effect of the sandwiches will have reduced the inspector's mental clarity and caused him to long for nothing more than a daytime nap. Hence he will soon be on his way.
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