CITY AND SUBURBAN
How to invest in hiring more people and losing more money — send in the clowns
CHRISTOPHER FILDES
Iwonder how Rupert Murdoch would get along in the opera business. The great man descends on London and summons his pro- ject manager: 'Well, Pagliaccio, how's the move to Wapping going?' 'Oh, splendidly, chairman. We're already looking ahead to the opening ceremony. I thought something simple, like Bollinger. . . . "Expensive, though.' Not really — oh, you mean the building, chairman? I suppose it is. Nice, though. It'll improve the neighbourhood.' `A pity the neighbours objected."Honestly, chairman, I don't want to be elitist, but some people . . . Anyway, we can be proud of our efforts in raising all that money.' So when it's all done, we'll have increased our capacity?' Not significantly, chairman.' `Then we'll be able to operate with fewer people?"No, no, chairman. The numbers will go up. We've been talking to the unions about it, but you know how these negotia- tions are, a matter of give and . . . now what was the other thing?' All right, Pagliaccio, tell me what the business plan says."Well, we're drafting one, chairman.' But you must know what the profit and loss account is going to look like?"0h, yes, chairman. It will look worse."What, worse than it was before this project started?' Quite a lot worse, chairman. We were hoping you could see your way to guaranteeing . . . ' `And the balance sheet?' There seems to be a hole in it.' Very interesting, Pagliaccio. Tell me, why have we made this colossal investment?' We owe it to ourselves, chair- man. There are some qualities that money simply cannot measure. I'm sure you agree with me.' I'm not sure, Pagliaccio, but I do think you're wasted on opera. Have you ever thought of publishing the Times?'
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