Q. On our return from a social gathering recently, my
partner and I noted that we both had been impressed by the rejuvenated appearance of a close woman friend, me by her features and he by her fuller figure. Also, we had separately concluded that attending a cosmetic surgeon was quite in character. I would have expected that she would have shared such a confidence with me, and am somewhat hurt that she has not done so. We are to meet soon at a smaller gathering and I am at a loss as to how to deal with the situation. Should I say nothing, thereby endorsing the froideur, or courageously broach the subject in advance, trusting, horror of horrors, that we are not in error? Are there new conventions in this area? Mary, I need guidance.
A. C., Galway, Ireland A. By simply saying. 'You're looking absolutely wonderful! Have you been on holiday?' you leave the door open for a friend to confide such a secret if they wish to. You must not ask directly, since half the point of having cosmetic surgery for some people is to con themselves, as well as others, that they are somehow younger than the date on their birth certificate would suggest. Incidentally, a new form of flattery is openly to ask someone you are certain has not had surgery whether they have had it.
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