11 OCTOBER 1975, Page 14

Hostages for all seasons

If you're feeling rather poor, And you want to find a cure, Take a hostage!

Ask a million pounds or more Just to keep wolves from the door For a hostage!

If you can't achieve your aim In the nationalistic game; If in politics your goal Has got sucked down the plughole; If your freedom you would gain, And you want a big jet plane; Take a hostage!

If your business may disrupt, And you fear you'll go bankrupt; If you want to give a shove To your girl to be your love; If you're feeling rather blue, And you don't know what to do, Take a hostage!

It's no matter who you stick, You can really take your pick, As a hostage!

So no matter what you need, There's just one way to proceed, Take a hostage!

But beware in the UK, You may find it doesn't pay To take a hostage!

Basil Charles