YOUR PROBLEMS SOLVED
Q. The kitchen window of my flat faces the bathroom window of a flat in the next-door building. The plumbing arrangements in my neighbour's flat are such that every morning, while munching my toast, I am treated to the full spectacle of her morning ablutions, which include a wonderfully pro- longed shower. To a male of my sensitivity, the vision (though somewhat distorted by the crinkly nature of the glass used in bath- room windows) is extremely unnerving. She, I can only imagine, clearly believes that the obscure glass protects her from outside observation. My gentlemanly upbringing demands that I should inform her of her exposure, if not to protect her modesty, at least so that I may maintain some sort of early morning equilibrium. Surely she will be mortified to hear of my attention over so many months? How should I handle this situation? A possible solution would appear to be for me to say nothing and stop looking. This I have tried but find impossible to achieve.
G.S., Edgecliff NSW, Australia A. Telephone your neighbour during her shower one morning, and, speaking in con-
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Dear Mary.
cerned tones, tell her the white lie that you have just surprised some plumbers, who were mending your dishwasher, and found them leering lasciviously from your kitchen window towards her bathroom and making lewd and suggestive comments. Say, 'Natu- rally, they stopped when I came into the room, but I have to say you can see quite clearly through that crinkly glass you have and we could all see that you were having a shower!' Speak in tones which imply that you had never previously even glanced in that direction before that morning. Now, however, you suggest that she has replace- ment glass installed in her dangerously inadequate window to preserve her privacy from the prying eyes of plumbers and the like.
Q. I was interested to see your ingenious solution to A.C.'s question as to how to let his friends know that he wears hand-made suits (31 July). I am afraid, however, that A.C. may suffer some embarrassment if he follows the suggested course. A number of the better makers of off-the-peg suits do provide cuff buttons that can be undone (Hackett is one example). I believe that a simpler and more effective answer to A.C.'s difficulty would be to ask his tailor to make his suits with linings of some particularly violent-coloured silk — lilac or raspberry would be effective. As far as I am aware, all off-the-peg suits come with relatively taste- ful linings, so A.C. would only need to devise some way of opening or taking off his coat for his friends to draw the desired conclusion.
N.B., London NW5 A. Thank you for submitting your superior solution.
Mary Killen
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