F ligh life
tax haven
Taki
Her Levantine father, an acknowledged genius in the art of self-promotion, could 11,°t have staged-managed it better. Christina Onassis, the poor little rich girl who resembles an overstuffed Greek olive, has ubviously inherited more than just money la%141d bags under the eyes from her father. anipulating the press, for example. This week I watched members of the rough Estate make fools of hemselves reports nonsense which Christina Onassis 401ker Andreadis Kauzov had deftly 411,0Wed to 'leak' though. The London and New York Times correspondents, two
gentlemen who take themselves very seriously indeed, outshone their colleagues in erroneous reporting. Christina made sure of it by having a 'close' friend confide in them. Both fell for it hook, line and sinker. But now for some facts.
The Onassis family has always wanted and sought the limelight. Aristotle Onassis was the first of the major Greek shipowners to pull off such coups de theatre as the buying of large chunks of shares of the Monte Carlo Casino holding company, running off with the tempestuous diva Maria Callas, finally by marrying the predatory Jackie.
His modus operandi was the stick and carrot technique. He never antagonised the press but always made sure he looked like hating any coverage of his activities. Christina has learned her lesson well. She ably masqueraded her love of publicity as wilfulness by running off with an obscure American real estate agent twenty-seven years her senior. Her father's outraged reaction guaranteed maximum coverage by every newspaper and Christina was on her way. Although the old man got attention by climbing, Christina has perfected the art of publicity-seeking by what the French call nostalgie de la boue. She marries below her, thus assuring even Communist paper coverage.
People familiar with Russian affairs must have been laughing at the press's reluctance to call Kauzov a KGB man. I met him in Paris and if ever there was a KGB man he is it. Because unlike popular misconceptions, Sergei is charming, inquisitive, polyglot, intelligent and capable of making a woman feel undivided attention. All attributes of government officials and bureaucrats of Socialist Republics. Given the facts, it is no wonder that the running saga of the love between the world's richest girl and an unemployed communist has captured the media's imagination. No matter that Christina is not even in the top fifty of richest women. That her fortune is not eight hundred million pounds but closer to maybe fifty million dollars, and that the Russians need her ships as much as Carter needs coke snorting aids. Nor is it important that Christina — whose attention span is one millionth of a second — will not live in a two-bedroom apartment in Moscow with her mother-in-law, as reported. If she does! will erect a statue of pure Greek marble to Lord Shawcross and solicit contributions from Nigel Dempster and William Hickey.
Russia is, after all, the perfect tax haven. She will probably spend two months a year there. There is no crime, no kidnappings, no tax on unearned income. More important, it is an elitist society. If you have money you live better than in the free world where everyone thinks he or she is equal. And that is one thing the poor little rich girl won't stand for. She must be different, and now the ultimate status symbol. A real live Commie with a glass eye and gold teeth. Not since Zelda Fitzgerald went dancing with Parisian clochards has a downmarketing process been so successful. Needless to say there that Fleet Street will close down. Or that gossip columnists will be silenced. Or that American Indians will take over. Because, they have a proverb that says, 'those who seek the goldfish bowl and then complain about being in the goldfish bowl, speak with forked tongue'.
If none of the above happens I predict that Christina will outmarry Mickey Rooney, although Kauzov may yet give her a run for her money, if she returns to Russia.
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