Banned wagon
A wee/4 survey of the things our rulers want to prohibit
'I AM the man, the very fat man, who waters the workers' beer,' sang Jim Callaghan at a Durham miners' gala. He, at least, was joking. Not so Charles Clarke, the Home Office minister, who has just unveiled a plan to tackle alco- hol-related crime.
One of the measures envisaged is a ban on beer glasses; in their place, clubs and bars would have to use plastic cups, treating their customers like schoolchil- dren embarking on a teddy bears' picnic.
While this might cause some inconve- nience for thugs — they might have to reach into their back pocket for a flick- knife rather than 'glass' their victims — it is unlikely to do much to enhance the pleasure of a quiet drink for the rest of us: 'Would sir care for the '66 or the '78 claret in his plastic beaker?'
Perhaps even more worrying is the proposed ban on the consumption of alcohol in 'designated public places'.
Local authorities already have the power to pass by-laws to prevent drinking in trouble spots, but apparently this is not enough: the government wants primary legislation to cover the country as a whole. When the legislation is enacted, one trusts that the lawn at Glyndebourne will qualify as a private place. But woe betide anybody who dares pack a half- bottle of Chardonnay in their hamper when picnicking anywhere else.
When we're all safely confined indoors, drinking from our plastic cups, will there be any less thuggery? Or is it that thugs are thugs however or wherever they drink, and that punishing the rest of us for being fond of a tipple is a waste of time? Perhaps, like the Millennium Dome, this is an initiative which could do with being subjected to the 'Euan test'.
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