Q. My wife and I have recently been staying with
some dear friends in North Yorkshire. The house is, unquestionably, the most comfortable we ever stay in and our hosts produce only the finest food and wine. The other guests were, as usual, charming and great fun. However. our host is inordinately fond of dispatching the ladies to the drawing-room at
the end of dinner, and then spending hours over the port. On our most recent visit this went on for so long that when we finally left the table the ladies had retired to bed and our host and one of the other men in the party promptly fell asleep on the sofa. How can one suggest to one's host, without causing offence, that it might be a good idea to leave the dining-room some hours earlier?
C. L-B., Glos.
A. Your host is probably aware that anything more than 30 minutes spent over the port is excessive, but alcohol may blur his judgment as to how much time has actually gone by. Next time you stay with him, plot with fellow male guests that, after half an hour, you will, by pre-arranged signal, all jump up from the table to visit the loo simultaneously, as though by coincidence. 'I haven't got a watch on, shall we reassemble here?' one of you can ask innocently. 'Or have we already exceeded our limit?' Discussion of what the
correct 'limit' might be will no doubt bring your host to his senses, and he will authorise full dispersal to the drawing-room.
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