Brollied Werewolves
The silly season covers twelve months per year, if you concentrate on school stories. Teen- age girls at a school in Essex have been ordered by the head to wear rain-hats in wet weather, and forbidden to carry umbrellas, because the monstrous children have taken to using coloured umbrellas. One of the governors supports the head and complains that brolly- carrying has become a downright fashion parade He adds that rain doesn't harm youngsters. Oh dear, it is difficult. We adults know how sin and depravity can lurk in the un- likeliest things, but how can we get this through to teenagers, without letting them know that such things ever cross our minds? I mean, we can't blurt straight out that brollies are phallic, or mammarian, or something, because we're not sure what that means but it sounds disgusting. Another headmaster recently nearly went up the wall because the pressure of history had finally forced him to let his girls scrap the horrid old black cotton stockings and adopt nylons, and now he found they wanted to wear black cotton tights instead, and everybody knows that legs in black cotton are just plain sexy, so he drew the line at them. It's war, I tell you, war, and we've got to light the little swine back or they'll grow up into people and swamp us.
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