AFTERTHOUGHT
Go ape
JOHN WELLS At this momentous moment in Time, writes our Space Correspondent, Zero Hamburger, as Man gropes gropingly out into Space, poised seemingly on the verge of realising the dream of primaeval Beaker Folk and ancient Chinese star-gazers, of planting his foot on the face of the virgin Moon, it behoves us surely that we should turn our minds to those mute and unsung heroes of the laboratory and the isolation chamber who made such a deeply great achievement physically feasible: those silent, uncom- plaining stepping-stones over which Man has advanced precariously to carry forward still further the noble banner of Humanity and Civilisation. I refer to the gallant apes of the Free World, volunteers to a man, who have gladly suffered mutilation, death and personal inconvenience to advance the cause of Progress.
The world has already taken off its hat to the late Monkey Bonny, the fourteen- pound Pigtail Monkey from Thailand, courageously wheeling about the globe only a few days ago, steel wires embedded in his head and a tube inserted in his bladder to collect and analyse his urine four times a day as he fearlessly exposed himself to massive doses of lethal radiation. Less has been written about an astonishing experi- ment that has been taking place here on earth, and on this side of the Atlantic, surely no less awe-inspiring in its towering implica-
tions. High above London, first at the sum-
mit of the Post Office Tower and sub- sequently in conditions of the strictest secrecy overlooking the Thames at Mill. bank, another willing victim has suffered as much as four years' incarceration in glass chambers, observation rooms and padded cells, that others may probe what lies in
store for Man as he advances, erect and unflinching, into the Age of Technology. The subject of this seemingly endless series of tests, trials and tribulations is Tony, a one hundred and fifty pound adult male Wedgwood Benn, a rare species of the Com- mon Hairy Benn. so called for the dazzling blue of its sharp intelligent eyes, forever darting brightly from side to side in its flattish humanoid face.
Tony, however, is no ordinary guinea pig monkey, and he has been treated accord. ingly. Despite widespread demands at various stages in the tests that electrodes should be embedded in his brain, or that clamps, tubes and electrical wires connected to a computer should be attached to various parts of his body, Tony has been left as far as possible in his natural state. Experts realised that this would make the task of understanding and analysing what the Benn was thinking more difficult, but plumped nevertheless for a 'free' system which would allow the subject the widest possible range of movement and improvisation as he per- formed his complicated 'work program' and was exposed to increasing amounts of unshielded technology. In exchange for 'rewards' the Benn had to be able to operate simple apparatus, pick up a telephone when N it rang and 'listen to it', make a distinctive mark on papers as they were put in front of him, and also reproduce certain facial expressions when confronted with technical instruments.
The initial tests were concerned with simple sorting and 'posting' operations. Given a selection of envelopes and packets with distinctive markings on them, the Benn was required to discriminate between them. and to place each item in an appropriate slot by matching the distinctive markings. As the television cameras whirred Tony set nimbly about his task, bright eyes flickering from side to side, simian hands shuffling the envelopes in cramped frenzies of sudden activity before popping them into the slots. When an envelope went into the correct slot the Benn received a small reward, and paused, eyes gleaming, to bare his teeth in a plaintive smile: when the envelope went into the wrong slot, the Benn received a mild shock at the base of the spine. Initial results were average, but with the first exposure to the images and effects of tech- nology an alarming change took place. Before relinquishing any envelope the Benn insisted on decorating it with a crude design in primitive colours, and performed certain irrelevant movements suggesting a bustling efficiency increasingly belied by the results. The colours and designs proliferated, the 'boo-boo' shocks came thicker and faster, until the Bern's face twitched to an un- interrupted and quickening pulse of agonised grimaces and the dazed ape had to be stretched out for a period of massage.
The same pattern presented itself in the second series of tests at the Post Office Tower. In these the Benn was required to connect certain coloured plugs to matching plug-holes set in an upright rack in front of him. At the outset results were erratic but not much below average. Exposed once more to the unshielded technology. Tony's behaviour patterns became so erratic as to attract the attention of veterinary psychia- trists. Racked with harrowing shocks as 'wrong number' followed 'wrong number' as he conjured the coloured plugs into so much knotted knitting, the Benn screeched arid chattered, occasionally resorting again to the efficiency rituals observed earlier but growing all the time more and more hysterical. The climax came when he began attacking the test apparatus itself, until then believed indestructible, and substituting a magpie collection of tinsel and coloured wool, all of which predictably fell to pieces in his small hands and left him perplexed, his bright eyes still flickering from side to side when they were not forced together in a painful squint by the force of the shocks.
In his new environment overlooking the Thames, surrounded by steel and reinforced glass, the Benn might seem to the casual observer to be more relaxed and contented. Daubing his crude 'diagrams' or paintings with their amusingly obsessive phallic up- thrusts, or leaping chattering, arms flapping above his head, from chair to tabletop, he might be mistaken for a normal excitable monkey: the flickering eyes are still as bright, the knuckled paws still as ready to snatch up an imaginary `telephone' and jabber in the language that only he under- stands. Only to those who know the tragic truth is it immediately obvious: the animal is raving mad. Exposed to intolerable quantities of technology, anything that could have remained of the originally nimble brain is long since burned away: working now on pure technology—most of the current 'work program' is devoted to solving prob- lems connected with the creation of even more dangerous tests for his successors, more perilous degrees of exposure and more terrifying complex environments—the Benn seems to have succeeded at least in neutra- lising the effects of the 'boo-boo' shocks, however gross the mistake: perhaps it is simply that he no longer feels them. Probing forward down a path that the human race might well, but for his sacrifice, have followed, he stands, his bright eyes still flickering madly about him, as a dread warning to each and every one of us. Pity him we may, as we may pity any dumb creature that is destroyed so that Man may survive—but be thankful for him we must.
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