Frozen assets
Sir: Three weeks ago, during that bout of rather severe weather, I took out a mort- gage on a small one-bedroom igloo. My estate agent had assured me that, given the imminent arrival of the next ice age, it would prove an excellent investment. In the event, however, shortly after I paid the stamp duty and solicitor's fees it melted.
Aside from the obvious inconvenience, this also means that I am now experiencing severe negative equity problems. Indeed, when I took a tray of the remaining ice cubes round to a surveyor for valuation, he warned me that it could be some years yet before they realise their original purchase price. In the meantime, all he could advise was that I keep the cubes in my fridge and attempt to rent them out.
Would any Spectator readers be interest- ed? I can assure you they represent far bet- ter value for money than those Tuscan farmhouses people are always trying to flog in the classified section.
Michael J. Hewitt
Flat 18, 5 Park Hill, Carshalton Beeches, Surrey
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