12 OCTOBER 1991, Page 30

For Any Correspondent

This morning's risible memorandum reads: `Clock, cheese, coal, car, plug, thingummy, garbage, weeds'.

Wisdom, new and old gurus say, consists In jacking the grovelling boredom of such lists Up to the level of human interest.

All day, twelve-ten on the clock, I've done my best To achieve that erection. Now street lamps Illuminate serious duties. Envelopes! Stamps!

James Michie