12 OCTOBER 1991, Page 53

No. 1700: Utterly astonishing

Some people thought the choice of Julie Burchill as last week's Spectator Diarist slightly surprising. You are asked to im- agine that our editor has invited an utterly astonishing public figure to do the job, and to supply 150 or so words of the result. Entries to 'Competition No. 1700' by 25 October.