COMPETITION
No. 583: Figures of fun
Mr Denis Healey has been nominated for a European award to the 'most humorous statesman of the year'. Competitors are in- vited to draft the opening passage (maximum 150 words) for a suitable speech of accept- ance for such an award by any statesman, with the usual prizes for the most humorous and statesmanlike. Entries, marked 'Com- petition No 583,' by 23 December.
No. 580: The winners
Trevor Grove reports: Richard Williams's review, in a recent issue of Melody Maker, of the Lennon-Ono 'Wedding Album', included a lyrical rave about sides two and four, consisting solely of a single note sus- tained throughout; these, it turned out were in fact just the blank reverse sides of two test pressings. Competitors were invited to review an uncut block of Michelangelo's, a blank canvas of Rembrandt's, or any other suitable non-composition. No prize to F. I. Pocket of Bournemouth for submitting a totally blank sheet of paper—not even a blank cheque as he thoughtfully suggests. though I take his point. Two guineas, Instead, to D. J. O'Connor: The genuineness of Rembrandt's signature on the blank canvas recently unearthed in the tellers of the Rijksmuseum proves what the more perceptive experts had long sus- Pected—that Rembrandt was the originator of the Quietist school. To leave the naked and unprimed canvas to radiate its simple message—and how rich this message is—was the product of a seminal insight. The work itself however seems to be inferior to some of those lurking beneath the crude impasto of later and more orthodox paintings. Experimental scrapings on The Night Watch and Aristotle Contemplating the Bust of Homer have disclosed rich promise of fur- ther Quietist works of genius.
And three guineas to Neil Taylor:
The discovery in the British Museum (Col- lier-Wise Bequest) of one of Shakespeare's foul papers—previously believed to have been destroyed by enemy bombing—is even more exciting for bibliographical research than the blank leaves of Hinman's First Folio. Luckily, the sheet is devoid of text and in Shakespeare's autograph, so here, at least, there is no question of emendation or contamination from Compositor B. Indeed, there is a complete absence of any ink mark, in either Secretary or Italian hand, which strongly substantiates Herminge and Con• dell's claim that Shakespeare's 'mind and hand went together: And what he thought, he vttered with that easinesse, that wee have scarse reveiued from him a blot in his papers' A critical edition is promised.
On Beckett Nigel Andrews proved a critic of rare aplomb, and John Spurting wins four guineas for his darting, aggressively diffident profundities:
Samuel Beckett's definitive retort to the dilemma of human existence raises more questions than it answers. Is this flawless artefact play or novel? Are these the ineffable stage directions for a mime? the pure, unspeakable stichomythia of invisible, inaudible tramp-like presences (or absences)? or is it the ultimate monologue, apotheosis of the master's Cartesian hero-victim unshackled finally from every vestige of the physical? More likely, it transcends the frontiers between play and novel. Then again, is its uncompromising silence French or English, or translated from French into English or vice versa? All we can be certain of is that it works on every level, that affirmation joins hands with negation, that, to adapt Lear, 'everything will come of nothing'.
. . . and a final four guineas to K. S. Light- foot: This newly discovered Monet, the back initialled and dated 1926, the year of his death, represents the culmination of the work of this greatest of the Impressionists. At first glance the canvas appears, strikingly, blank. But as, with growing excitement one studies it, innumerable subtle tonal varia- tions become apparent. From the rough weave of the canvas, which imparts a bril- liantly realised texture plainly observed through the bold brushwork of the sizing, tiny points of reflected light coruscate, fluctuating as one's viewpoint changes. Monet has thus captured, in supremely daring and satisfying style, the very essence of light, for the entire tone-level of the work varies with the quality of the light in which it is regarded.
Finally, special mentions to W. H. Smith, Fergus Porter, Nameer All Jawdat, M. L. Bandela, L. M. Tremblay, F. Burden, M. Coombs and Margaret Cash and congratula- tions to all on an unusually high standard of entry.
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