OXFORD LETTER

Lamentations among the Faithful

MERCURIUS OXONIENSIS

GOOD BROTHER LONDINIENSIS,

God be praised, the effigies of our patron, the god Mercurius, is this day being restored to his pedestal in Christchurch, and therefore I can at the last break my silence and write to you in answer to yours of 21st uttimi, which was wafted through my bedroom- window before day-break on Friday last. The poor bird that brought it arrived quite exhausted, after I know not what misadven- tures, having a couple of lead-pellets in his rump and several! tail-feathers missing; but being now under the care of my good scout Mudge (a skilled poultry-man) I doubt not that tomorrow he will be fit to return to you upon his own wings. After such hazards, 'twould be pity to send him back empty, and so I 'have fitted him out with this letter, and trust that he will 'bring it straight to you, neither diverted by the tempting bird-seed of Trafalgar-square nor entangled in the subtile lime-twigs of 99 Gower Street.

We Oxon men are still much distressed by the Sad history of the famous Cambridge martyr, poor Master Dutschke from High Germany, whom her Majesty's minister has so cruelly persecuted. Indeed, I learn from the publick prints (for I know nothing directly, Mercurius Cantabrigiensis having not yet trained up his pigeon), that some tender-hearted professors there, undaunted by present power, have boldly borne witness to their faith, even in their publick lectures, comparing that pretious saint, for his trial and sufferings, with our late Lord Chancellor Sir Thomas More, if not with our blessed Saviour himself. If you have fresh news from thence, I pray you tell me all; for I cannot deny that some here make light of the whole affair, frivolously declaring that those Cam- bridge professors must be soft not only in heart but also in head.

These criticks allege that that poor young man was in truth no saint nor martyr but a meer agitator from beyond seas who, having alipp'd into this realm under colour of his craz'd health, and seeking to linger here for his privy machinations, has now met his deserts; and whereas the friends of academical' liberty (so-call'd) cry out in shrill, sad accents that he did but seek to read Hungarian philosophy in Cambridge, as the fittest place for such study, these cavillers reply that, if that be so, 'tis strange he chose as his teacher Mistress Joan Robinson, the tent-dwelling Chinese °economist, whose

erudition in the Hungarian tongue, and in any philosophy save the apophthegms of the present Emperour in Peking, is thought to be but slender; which I doubt not is a grave libel on that learned and worthy lady.

I should tell you, by the way, that there is great lamentation among the faithful! in Balliol-coll., who complain that 'tis not widely enough known that they would gladly have welcomed Master Dutschke there and so gained the virtue and reliques of his presence and martyrdom, But our university not concurring with 'em in that point, they were obliged to yield him up to Master Pip- pard of Clare-hall in Cambridge, so that the great merit of the Balliol men, in offering to harbour him, is now buried in silence. I pray you, in justice to them, see that the truth is put about; for I would not have that college lose the credit of its good intentions.

However, if we lost the presence of the saint, think not that we have been behind- hand in mourning his martyrdom. For no sooner had the news been brought hither by Dame Rumour (who travels much faster than your poor pigeon, viresque adquirit eundo), than the drums were beaten from coll. to coll., and all men were summoned by the Student Representative Council (whose commands have been declared by Master Hart to be the only true voice of the university) to a meeting in the Union or Mock-parliament. Of which meeting I shall now give you a faithful accompt; for although I was not there myself, being afraid to venture my creaking old bones in such a throng. I was soon fully informed, by my loyall pupills, of all important passages therein.

Know then that the chair at this meeting was taken by the Warden of. New coll., Sir William Hayter, one of the grandees of the Wykehamicall party here: for I need not tell you that that party is as strong in the high places of our society as elsewhere in the kingdom. This Sir William was formerly of her Majesty's foreign service and lay abroad as ambassadour in Muscovy; from which honourable place he slid naturally into New coll., being his own old coll., in succession to the late Master Warden Smith, of gothique memory, his own old tutor, whom he had • lately entertained in Muscovy, as I have told you. On his return to Oxon, Sir William, as a great states-man, at first sought to serve op the Hebdomadal( Council, and rule us from above; but not succeeding with the electors (these Wykeliamites not stooping to the vulgar art of vote-catching, but preferring to rule jure divino, by their own merits), he has since become a great friend of Liberty and, Progress, and delivers his wisdom at large in a Phrygian cap (exquisitely cut for him by Master Lock of St. James's street), and is much cry'd up by the young demagogues for his sound understanding, patrician grandeur, elegant suppers, etc. etc.

Well, when the doors were flung open, you may be sure there was a great press of the disciples of that poor German, some of whom had come hot-foot from Cambridge, bringing handkerchiefs dipp'd in his blood, and other reliques, which being display'd for the veneration of the crowd wrought great devotion amongst 'em, and some miracles, not yet fully specified. After Sir William, as their grave old Gamaliel, had given 'em leave, by his example, to cry down their governors as enemies of liberty, etc., there stood up beside him a young man from Cor- pus Christi coll., who whipt and stript it for a time, in the usual fashion; after which, velut signo dato, behold ! there heaves up from the floor of the house, like a porpoise from the deep, another of the Wykehamicall brethren, one Master Seton-Watson, the great patron of liberty in Oriel coll., (now on leave of absence, but he had hurried back for the oc- casion) who, after some preparatory spouting, told 'em all, very gravely, that the time of persecution foretold by the Prophets was now clearly come upon us, and that he knew not whither the godly should flee for a refuge, but that in the meantime they must all show themselves men of action, and of the world, and write hot letters to their Parliament-men, as he had done to his, viz: to Master Monty Woodhouse, burgess for Oxon., who is yet another of the, Wykehamicall brethren; but 'tis thought he will not, in this, be of the same mind as his academical! brother, the smooth blood of Winchester coll. being sometimes thinner and more dilute than the boysterous water of state policy.

Good brother Londiniensis, I know not what to make of all this; but seeing that Wednesday next is St Scholastica's day, a day ill-omen'd for academicall riots in our annals, and also a day of the full moon; and the total eclipse thereof, there is no lunacy which we may not apprehend. I had hoped ere now to have news from our brother Can- tabrigensis, his university being the centre of all our present troubles; and indeed he is booked to come hither shortly for some col- lege feast, as he wrote me before the great postal! siege began. But now, though I yearn to see him, nevertheless, having tasted one such feast, I begin to think he should be dissuaded. If your pigeon flies that way, pray warn him that our feasts in Oxon are not now what they were, at least in some colls., and that he would do better to sup off a dish of pig's trotters in.the ordinary than to risque a cold fish-cake and a greasy capon among all the silver and candlesticks of our college halls:

sic omnia falls in peitts mere ac retro sublapsa referri.

With which sad reflexion I close this letter and subscribe myself

Your loving brother

MERCURIUS OXONIENS1S