Small Change

A prize of six guineas was offered for three common sayings altered slightly in wording, but considerably in meaning.

'TAKE care of the sense, and the sounds will take care of themselves.' This maxim, sub- mitted by two or three competitors, has guided me in judging the entries. Topicality and originality were looked for; though it is impossible to guarantee originality when n isting a common phrase : the more apt the twist, the more likely is it to have occurred to someone before. As far as the prize is concerned I have rejected any twists I happen to have heard before, but some are so quote-worthy that I am slipping them in as `commendeds'-though my com- mended list, if printed in full, would need a whole page of its own!

The subtle conversion of lower-case letters into capitals; as in L. E. Honnor's substitution of The Times for the times, was a good idea but yielded no brilliant ex- amples. A number of competitors sent malapropisms-not quite what was wanted. Only the meaningful ones qualified, notably Sir Patrick Laird's 'The agnostics in our church are very bad,' and Hugh Rice's 'There's more misery in childhood than ever there is in adultery.'

I favoured the equal pay slogan, 'A miss is as good as a male'-but it occurred four times. Even more frequent was the substitu- tion of gaol for goal, blight for light, im- moral for immortal, bother for brother, and fiend for friend, in various sayings, with some amusing results but none outstanding. Good duplications included : 'She couldn't wear less, 'Eat, drink, and be merry, for toThorrow we diet,' and 'Wasting one's sub- stance in righteous living.'

Finding no sets of three first-rate sayings, should I rate highest a complete set of good shots, or two hits out of three, or a single bull's-eye? My final decision is : quarter of the prize to T. A. Sim for the best set; half- guineas to J. F. P. and A. M. Sayers for

good doubles; and the same again for the top seven of many excellent singles, with two shares for Edward Samson, who sent in sets galore.

PRIZES

SUMMER HOLIDAY SET:

We felt the crawl of the open road. I spent a long time queueing and billing with my wife.

The hotels gave top-tip service. (T. A. stm) ToutArrt TO KHRUSFICHBV : Keep your tongue from evil speaking, lying and slandering, and your hands from picking on Stalin. IN THE WELFARE STATE: Let your yea be yea and your nay be may. (J. F. P.) Lock before you leave.

Least sad is soundest minded. (A. M. SAYERS) The Committee meeting will be hell on Tues- day. (REV. D. M. GREENHALGH) No smoking without fear. (GLORIA PRINCE)

Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not clarity, I am become as sounding brass or a tinkling

cymbal. (S. 0. E. LYTHE) Familiarity breeds content.

(GRANVILLE °ARLEY) Tact is better than friction. (REV. F. C. GILL) She's not as bad as she's made up to be.

They threw a planner in the works. •

(EDWARD SAMSON)

COMMENDED

During the last year our son's prep has been well.above pa. (w. S. J. STAPLES) The audience left no turn unstoned.

W. svms)

He was called to the bar, and took milk.

(MRS. J. O'BRIEN) He's the sort of man-who would do anybody for anything. (STEPHANIE GIFFORD) She kissed him with baited breath.

(i. A. LINDON)

She talks like a brook. (MRS. V. R. ORMEROD)

It's sure to come tight in the wash.

(WINSTON HARTLEY)

If at first you don't succeed, try a gin.

(RODNEY EXTON)

She has a face like an angle. (w. nsatuNcroN) Where singleness is bliss, 'tis folly to be

wives. (MISS M. H. TAYLOR) All along the shore the belles are peeling.

(ELSIE NOBLE)

Our Chairman is a very board-minded

man. (a CLAW It takes four to make a quadrille.

(JOHN C. SILK)

an old-world atmosphere of

lice. (MRS. W. DICKER) at it from the cradle to the (Piswoa) race. (m. sstvAs) vanished into thin hair. (HEATHER VINEHAM) Travel broadens the behind. (J01IN BROWN) He is a good all-round shirker. M. wooDsEAD)

Speak well of the deaf. (JOAN HASLETT) One swallow doesn't slake a drummer. (TOWANBUCKET) Watching her across the breakfast table, he knew he could depend on her voracity. (MRS. J. CLARKE)

She lives in lavender and

A housewife's gravy.

A pint-to-pint Fris youth bad