YOUR PROBLEMS SOLVED
Dear Mary.. .
4. Our increasingly unsatisfactory nanny has given notice after a year with us. I will not bore you with a list of her crimes sufficient to say that although she is per- fectly reliable, she has become generally tiresome to have around — moody, resent- ful, contemptuous, etc. Our problem is that while she has asked for a reference she is not actually leaving our employ for another six weeks. I can hardly give an honest opin- ion on her employability, as we have to go on living under the same roof for the time
being, yet I would not want to mislead another possible employer. What can I do, Mary?
Name and address withheld
A. Compile a short and bland compendi- um of this nanny's desirable attributes, then qualify them by the codicil: 'I have always been hopeless at expressing myself in writing, so would urge any potential employers to telephone me here so that I May do justice to Nanny by giving a much more detailed and illuminating oral reference.' Q. Whilst enjoying an afternoon of sun- shine in the residents' garden of the square to which I have recently moved, my atten- tion was sought by a very attractive young lady at the gate. She assured me that she was indeed a resident, but that she had for- gotten her key to the garden. I happily unlocked the gate and let her in, where- upon she went to the farthest and most secluded corner of the garden and proceed- ed to remove most of her clothes. When the time came for me to leave, I was con- cerned about leaving her locked in with the risk of impaling herself on the spiked rail- ings in an attempt to climb out. On the
other hand, as far as I could tell she was in such a state of undress that she might have been embarrassed by my approaching her and inviting her to leave with me. What should I have done?
D.T.M., London SW3
A. It should have been possible for you to have improvised some sort of blindfold from one of the articles of clothing which you yourself were wearing. You could then have blundered towards the girl in question and alerted her to the fact that you were leaving, without having to expose yourself to any undesirable degrees of nudity.
Q. Referring to the problem of unlucky 13 at table (20 April) and superstitious guests, my grandfather falsified his age to be able to fight in the Great War. He was the only survivor of his platoon at the battle of the Somme. His number was 13. His platoon was 13.
FF., Gaborone, Botswana
A. Thank you for submitting this intelligence.
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