X.37 Reports

By STRIX COMRADE, •

You will recall that before my departure you instructed me verbally to forward reports on matters of general interest even if these lay out- side the scope of my mission. I submit herewith some observations on the British railway system. These are based on my own first-hand experience and appear to indicate that the briefing of candi- dates at the Sorge Institute of Espionage is based on obsolete and to a certain extent misleading data.

* * *

On 3 June, 1958, I travelled to Henley-on- Thames by a train which left London (Padding- ton) at 2155 hrs. In accordance with standing orders I asked for a third-class ticket. The clerk sold me a ticket and I made my way to Platform 3. A careful scrutiny of the train revealed that there were no third-class compartments; and on examin- ing my ticket I found that it entitled me to second- class accommodation.

I was puzzled, and somewhat perturbed, by this, for I was certain that the clerk had heard and understood my request for a third-class ticket. I was also disconcerted by the general appearance of the train. We were taught at the Institute that British trains are invariably overcrowded, and that it is' often necessary to travel standing up- right in the corridor. Not only was this train almost empty, but the compartment in which I took my place had no corridor.

Its only other occupant was a young male member of the intellectual class who shortly after we started fell into a deep sleep or coma. I was thus enabled to make a close inspection of the compartment, which was strongly built and severely upholstered. It contained certain features which strengthened my suspicion that there was something odd about this particular train.

Its walls were decorated with a mirror and five large photographs. Or rather, there had been five but one had been removed. In Great Britain, as in the USSR, the State owns the railways, and it seems probable that this photograph had been removed for reasons of security.

What these reasons may have been I am unable to suggest. The four remaining pictures were, or purported to be, views of the following places :

1. Plas Newydd, Llangollen (a large mansion or possibly a museum).

2. Priory Park, Malvern (a place outwardly corresponding to our own Parks of Rest and Culture; in the foreground were several bour- geois women wearing hats and costumes of an unfamiliar design).

3. High Street, Portishead (an obsolete automo- bile was conspicuous).

4. Sonning-on-Thames (no comment).

Although there was nothing suspicious about the photographs themselves, the fact that they were prominently exhibited in a State-owned public conveyance struck me as inexplicable. The longer I looked at them, the more I became con- vinced that they must have some ulterior signifi- cance; for how otherwise could one account for the Government's decision to affix them to the walls of the compartment, in spaces which could well have been occupied by reproductions of works of art, by political slogans, or by profitable advertisements? Why, moreover, had one been removed?

* *

At a station with the ambiguous name of West Drayton and Yiewsley my torpid companion roused himself and left the train, and I was able to make an even more detailed examination of my surroundings.

I discovered two small knobs, marked 'Heater,' in opposite corners of the compartment. Both were set in the 'On' position but the heating system (if it existed at all) was not in operation. I can only conclude that these knobs were connected with microphones, and I venture to suggest that students at the Institute should in future be warned that British railway coaches are liable to be equipped with some form of listening apparatus.

Both doors carried a notice which appeared to have been recently altered and which read: `CAUTION. Lean out of the Window.' As an experiment I obeyed this strange injunction on four separate occasions, but, except that a piece of grit lodged in my left eye, nothing happened. I can offer no explanation of this notice.

A similar notice, headed 'ALARM' and refer- ring to a small segment of chain above the doors, had evidently been altered by hooligans; it read : `Pull the Chain Downwards. Penalty for Proper Use 5d.' I could not help asking myself for what reason this disfigurement of an official inscription had been tolerated.

* * *

I changed at Twyford, where another train was waiting to take passengers on to Henley. Although this was a very much smaller train there was room in it for thirty or forty travellers; yet only two persons beside myself (not counting the driver and guard) boarded it.

My experiences on this journey lead me to sup- pose that in England certain trains are operated not for the general public but for some special category of privileged individuals. It is clearly a small category; but of whom it consists, and by what oversight or accident I found myself in- cluded in it, I am not able to say. It is noteworthy that, had I not been there, the railway staff directly employed in conducting the small train from Twyford to Henley (including the officials who examined our tickets at both stations) would have outnumbered the passengers by two to one. This method of transporting human beings is so obviously uneconomic that I feel bound to record my conviction that the British railway system is, at any rate to some extent, operated for purposes other than the ostensible ones. I regret my in- ability to suggest what these may be.

* * *

It only remains to report that the journey of thirty-five miles was completed, a mere ten minutes later than the time advertised, in one hour and twenty-nine minutes. This seems to indicate that British trains are capable of maintaining a creditable speed, at any rate over comparatively short distances. The journey, nevertheless, pro- duced an eerie impression on me, and I will take the first opportunity of probing further into the various mysteries to whose existence it opened my eyes.

With comradely greetings.

X.37