Bad career moves
MICHAEL HENDERSON
Dr Johnson, as usual, had a phrase for it. There was nothing to be gained, he declared, in 'settling the point of precedency between a louse and a flea'. Anybody who has seen or heard the ramblings of Alastair Campbell and Charlie Whelan in the past week would agree. A plague on both their houses.
'Piper' Campbell, a trusted ally of the late Robert Maxwell, and more recently of Downing Street, where he pursued his lifelong search for truth in all things, writes a newspaper column on sport memorable for his mastery of one terribly interesting subject: himself. As for Whelan, it isn't easy to say who or what he is. But it's not hard to say what he isn't: a journalist. It doesn't stop him trying to write, though, and last week he locked horns with Campbell on the subject of racism in football, and at one club in particular.
On a recent visit to Millwall to watch his club, Burnley, Campbell was appalled by the behaviour by the home supporters, which he took to be racist, since much of the abuse was directed at Burnley's black defender, Mo Camara. He took the matter up with stewards at the ground during the match but received no satisfaction, and has found none since. Millwall have defended their record of combating racism, which is a respectable one, and pointed to the fact, known by everybody within football. that Burnley have yobbo supporters of their own.
'Aha!' sneered Whelan. Campbell won't dare to 'show his face' at the New Den again. Leaving aside this rebuke for the infantile sally that it is; pausing only to reflect that Whelan's own face would never launch a thousand ships, one is left with the query: why would Campbell, or anybody else for that matter, willingly visit a place where hundreds of people exult in their own nastiness?
However hard Millwall have tried to overcome the club's reputation for bigotry and prejudice, their fans keep letting them down. In a superb report in the Times of the recent Cup match between Millwall and Burnley, Keith Pike exposed 'the ranters and racists' who defiled the after noon. It was a lacerating piece, and a brave one, too. Football reporters are not often so precise in identifying wrongdoers, inclining instead towards the view that one day they will have to go back to the ground. So well done, Pikey.
Not so well done, Whelan, however, who described Campbell as somebody trying to pass himself off as a football expert. Does that description remind you of anybody, Charlie? The chap I have in mind was once a fibber (sorry, spin doctor) himself, who has subsequently exploited his list of contacts within the media to snap up jobs in print and on the air, where he sounds like he's swallowing a jar of yogurt every time he opens his mouth. Another clue: he supports Tottenham. Still puzzled? You'll get there in time.
Of course there is racism in football, and every other kind of bigotry, because many of the people who follow the sport are unspeakably foul. It didn't need Campbell's intervention to remind us of that, nor Whelan's spirited (but misguided) defence of Millwall. Go back to what you do best, gentlemen. Alastair, fetch those bagpipes from the attic. Charlie, eat those crumpets.
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