High life
At odds
Taki
Ifeel like the pugilist who, after bel knocked out early in the first round wa asked by an insensitive hack what had Salt wrong, and offered the laconic but per ly sensible explanation that he `shoo stood in bed'. Judging by my first back here, I, too, shoulda stood in Greecei; The English countryside, for one thing'et. not so pleasant come November. It damp, and dark by the time I've had 01 breakfast. Then there is the little rnatter4 getting anyone to stay during weekenvot When most of my English friends are out getting shot at by excitable forelgric swinging through the line, they are busy oc,1 mg what Oscar Wilde described as unspeakable in pursuit of the uneatable:nd Take, for example, the case of ITV frricail Sebastian Taylor. His mother is an 01(.8D, don and his father a doctor. Seb3_,stilhis however, has wanted only one thing .wh' be life and that is to make money — Whic4'005 did this year by perpetrating a horrnoe con job on some shady Texas oil Merl' ani posed as the son of a duke and act° his showed pictures of Longleat to them as ,1191.1se.) So what did Sebastian do as soon as he had a few ill-gotten petro-dollars in his ,Grange tweeds? He joined the Warwickshire "ant and is for the first time in three years unavailable for entertaining my friends clown in the ancestral seat.
, But I now wish to go on to more impor- ri`ant matters. Like Randall Crawley's wed-
to Marita Phillips.I simply had to see Duke most arrogant man since the present the of Marlborough's father march down tu le aisle with one of the sweetest and most ,,,talented girls I hardly know. The trouble t"has that I didn't really enjoy it as much as I .r."Nght I would. Perhaps getting into a fist hiOt With the bridegroom the night before Is wedding while dining at the Ritz had soMething to do with it. Over the Falklands of all things. h He accused me of being a coward and covering the war from the safety of Buenos Aires. And playing polo while Exocet sties were being fired at Max Hastings. I 'etcHled that if he thought I was such a coward he should momentarily cease eating h ()Y s caviar and step out Piccadilly way pfor This is when he began with the bully ",;. when it comes to fighting, that's all CYe Ihiasndo, , pick wh mene, tah erarec qaureets player,' Exocets parend you choose to play polo.' It was tic u'arlY unfair as I never once rode a iitlY while down there, and I have, after
• ' covered seven wars from the safety of hotelwas room. But never mind, I guess
all under tremendous strain. His t,e is extremely rich and everyone knows hat he hates money. T Tcontinued.e next the attack on poor little aaki cd I arrived in church on time Wrii,d, was standing for a moment chatting ra"" Sebastian who was an usher, when a le,tlet Pompous if lugubrious figure, the mean unthinking plutocrat, approached ree !ncl boomed out, 'Can I help you?' He saithtlded me of those snooty salesmen in snot• ty stores, who bully Pakistani families. first reaction was to say, 'You can, but ed • hcIt.' But because it was in church I Y declined his bullying offer and t urn- sa MY back. 'Then you'll just stand there, I 11;13°se, he boomed again 'Yes I will,' I I thsned back, and was about to tell him what wit.'"ught of nouveau dukes when celebrity' str1Plash set in as the heir to the throne
ly
rotetormentor left me and quick- e• scorted him to the front. Needless to nigh the service and reception and ball that oitt t, were perfect, although my mood would improve as much as I had hoped it urn- s-l• It Was, nevertheless, one of the few there have attended a smart party where thaf,were more people on the dance floor ow': in the lavatories. I kept checking them readt make sure and I assure you dear A"ers that it is true. next bAnci week ended, even more badly, the Ash. L'aY• I went to see my friend John point, tell to tell him that I had just been ap- notiltied President of the ad-hoc committee beeh`o Pay rates to the Grosvenor Estate I c'LlSe of the arrane of its fiihrer when saw the heroic Aspogersc, a man I admire and
respect, lunching with the ghastly little hustler Joe Dwek. It was too much. Like seeing General MacArthur cavorting with Victor Lownes.
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