Editorial crumpet
Sir: Book jackets and, sometimes, press articles will illustrate their authors; for some odd reason we find it interesting, if not helpful, to associate a portrait with its written word and vice versa. May we too, have pictures of contributors? I assumed — and why not? — our editor was the good Lord himself or, failing that, the good Lord's father. Not until the Short/Kasparov bout was televised did I see the young lad for myself. I always thought of Paul John- son as a young Bogart with, perhaps, a hol- ster underneath his jacket until, alas, this week I read — in his own words — that he's just like me, an OAP.
Jeffrey Bernard has always been a trick; I've always known I'd think twice before introducing my dear wife to him — and I say that as a compliment. He must be gor- geous; his shape, his smile, his strength, his ways . . . Must I rely upon imagination?
Matthew Parris is courteously helpful by appearing on television — then he confirms my adoration. Same with John Simpson, Taki (but rarely) and many of your book reviewers. But not Alasdair Palmer, nor Charles Moore, nor Christopher Fildes, nor Auberon Waugh; are they all too shy? Or are they simply pseudonyms for Candida, Nigella, Tabitha, Lisa, Anne (most of whom I am left associating with expensive Persian cats) who also write pieces 'neath these lovely names. And, from time to time, there's lots more crumpet too, whose por- traits should be elongated to show every-
LETTERS
thing above their insteps. After, all, we Spectator readers are surely mainly male.
Only Mary shares a morsel of her secrets behind her 1950s Remington complete with Space bar. Frank Keating might be exempt. He is clearly one of all of us and, too, rep- resents our idols. I like to picture him as Father Time and don't want to be disillu- sioned.
I'm not asking for a photograph above their columns every week. Just a summary to start with (perhaps Jurassic Park-style stickers which my grandson buys at 6 for 30p to stick into an album), followed by a Picture of each subsequent contributor. Clifford Hughes
Gable Cottage, Chequers Lane, Walton on the Hill, Surrey
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