Matrimonial classifieds

Dhiren Bhagat

Smirking at matrimonial advertisements in Indian newspapers has become a cliché of the British response to modern India. As soon as the diarrhoea-ridden traveller settles into the marble loo seat in his room at the Taj, it would appear he reaches for a copy of the Times of India and races to the page headed `Matri- monials' to squeeze its columns for a few easy paragraphs that will lighten the jour- nal he is keeping.

How quaint, they all seem to say. V. S. Naipaul in Area of Darkness (1964), Tre- vor Fishlock in India File (1983), Angela Wilkes in the Sunday Times earlier this year, Nicholas Coleridge in this week's London Standard: memory throws up these names at random, doubtless there are many others who've gone in for the same sort of fun. Marilyn Silverstone is American but the following extract from Dom Moraes's Gone Away (1960) typifies the response I am talking of:

When I got back to the hotel I found Marilyn in her room chuckling over the matrimonial advertisements in one of the newspapers. This is the modern form of arranged mar- riages: instead of having an astrologer as go-between, as they did before, orthodox Indians now use the advertisement columns.

'What's so funny?'

Marilyn read out one of the advertise- ments between chuckles.

'Wanted one vegetarian virgin, skilled in H.H. affairs, for 20-year-old clean-shaven bachelor. Caste no bar.'

'What on earth are H.H. affairs?'

'House Hold,' said Marilyn, and giggled furiously.

There is a joke in all this, but it's not the joke the travellers get, nor is it a joke the advertisers intend. The joke is on the travellers who giggle in ignorance.

To understand what is funny about this we must first tease out the point of the travel writer's joke. He is aware that most

of humanity for most of history (the British included) have preferred arranged mar- riages — that this ancient and possibly universal custom persists in India in the late 20th century may be curious but Is hardly funny. But arranging marriages by advertisement is something altogether different. . . . What a droll invention! That is what is implied in the giggles.

But what none of the travelleis men- tions, doubtless because they are 'ignorant not only of the customs of the country they are stumbling through but also of their own customs, is that the matrimonial advertise- ment came to India from Britain, where it was a common feature for more than a century and a half. The Indians had arranged marriages long before the British first set foot in India, but matrimonial columns in the newspapers are part of the imperial legacy, British innovations the Indians have found handy, like railway engines, parliament, and postage stamps.

Whoever else may be responsible, the British Museum can hardly be blamed for promoting this ignorance. Even if one can't be bothered to peruse 18th and 19t11 century newspapers there, the Museum has an excellent collection entitled Matri- monial Advertisements 1746-1862 (cup.

407.ff.43) which has hundreds of samples. - It is difficult to think of a feature of the Indian advertisements which is not to be found in this collection. Are the Indian advertisers unduly worried about social status? Here is a not untypical item from the Gazetteer of 15 August 1775:

A most advantageous opportunity now offers to any single young gentleman of character and genteel connexions; the advertiser of this will, upon the most disinterested terms, introduce such to a most accomplished young lady, with a fortune in her own hands of seventeen thousands pounds. To prevent trouble, no tradesman or shopkeeper will be accepted of . . .

Do the Indians specify particular reli- gious sects?

MATRIMONY. — A Gentleman of RANK, a Protestant, and possessing an unencum- bered income of 1,000 I. per annum is desirous of an union with an accomplished Young Lady of a suitable age, and whose station in society and connections are at least on a par with his own. (1839)

MATRIMONY. — A GENTLEMAN, one of the two first professions, of respectable appearance and connections, a graduate, single, age between 25 and 35, agreeable, is most desirous of being HAPPY with a LADY of decidedly Evangelical sentiments (as he is so), amiable, accomplished, respect- able . . . . (1830)

Do the Indian advertisers ask for photo- graphs? Consider this, from a Wiltshire Journal in 1848:

MATRIMONY, should this meet the eye of a pious lady under thirty. . . she may obtain further information by stating particulars, with real name and address, by letter pre- paid, enclosing stamps for return postage, and a portrait to . . . .

Do the Indian advertisements speak of People like cattle? This is a typical 18th century advertisement:

A young Gentleman, a Native of North Britain, (but with very little of the Brogue) of a genteel Profession, tall in Stature, finely shaped and well proportioned, has a delicate Head of Hair, white Hand, a large Calf, strong Back, broad Shoulders . . . . (1760)

Are there some Indians who can't spell, can't use the English language properly? From the Gloucestershire Chronicle, some- time in 1838: MATRIMONY A Jentleamman who is re- siding near the senter of Gloucestershire quite retier from all bisness being possed of an income of £200 a year, wishes to in gage in wedlocks with any eaged woman of his eakles. if widow or aney other case for life intrest onley would be excepted as the Jentleman wishes not to enjoy any propertey from any famauly by any means whatever. Pleas to direct ABZ at the Gloucestershire Cronicuell printing offic post paid with the perticulers of the case will be ansered by leter or in person in the inshewing week.

Curious financial arrangements? From the Gazetteer of 11 July 1768: A Gentlewoman who has a friend lately married, and thereby entitled to 4000 I. has it in her power to assist a single gentleman, in a Matter exactly of the same kind, if he can, through any means, raise or lend her about 150 I. or 200 I. for six months; the security is quite unexceptionable, and every thing is as clear as possible, and the success almost certain.

Indeed some advertisers appear to have been confused and placed under Matri- inonials proposals that should have gone under Business Opportunities or Property. H. ere is a member of the Commons adver- tising in 1778:

A Gentleman, who is a Member of Parlia- ment was elected by his own interest and the favour of his Constituents in the Borough Which he represents; is upwards of thirty

years of age; possessed of an estate in a very desirable part of England, of the annual value of sixteen hundred pounds, receives net thirteen or fourteen hundred, being greatly underlet; upon part of which estate he owes upon mortgage 13,000 I. The estate is situated in a ring of fence, may consist of between three and four thousand acres of inclosed land in the South of,England, and is in his own power to leave it to whom he pleases; he being a single man, having no relations at present, is very desirous of marrying a Lady of good temper, and some fortune, as neat as may be sufficient to pay off the incumbrance; the estate will be clear, and he proposes to settle as a jointure upon her, any sum not less than six hundred pounds a-year, reserving something for their issue, as she in her discretion shall think fit; he has a country house well and compleatly furnished, a park stocked with deer, and other conveniences.

Any Lady of Family may, by herself or agent, know the truth of this advertisment, by directing a line to L.M. to be left at the York Coffee house, St. James's-street . . . .

Two years before that an even more extraordinary advertisment appeared, in the Public Advertiser of 16 April 1776. It was another lonely MP: A gentleman who hath fulfilled two succeed- ing seats in parliament, is near sixty years of age, lives in great splendour and hospitality, and from whom a considerable estate must pass if he dies without issue hath no objec- tion to marry any widow or single lady, provided the party be of genteel birth, polite manners, and five, six, seven, or eight months gone in pregnancy. Letters addres- sed to - Brecknock Esq. at Will's Coffee- house, facing the Admiralty, will be hon- oured with due attention, secresy, and every possible mark of respect.

But the Indians haven't caught up with the British in all respects. I have never come across an Indian matrimonial adver- tisement in verse but the English some- times versified. To quote just one example, here is `Horatio' of 81, St James's Street, a

most particular gent who advertised in 30 lines for a woman who, inter alia,

With manners quite gentle, bewitching, and bland Mozart and Rossini she must understand. Her eyes must be blue, — her complexion be fair Her form be well moulded, and dark brown her hair; Her eyelashes long, her teeth very white, And her lips invite kisses from morning to night (1830).

Advertising in newspapers was never the most respectable thing to do, nor is it in India today. It was, in Britain, and still is, in India, a convenience many resorted to when the traditional methods of finding a spouse did not prove satisfac- tory. It may have had something to do with increasing urbanisation, with the breaking up of communities which were used to marrying off their young in traditional ways. More important, it had something to do with the fact that newspapers were around, and that someone got the bright idea of putting them to a new use.

Here is an argument for advertisements from a member of Gray's Inn who was himself advertising for a wife in 1847:

MATRIMONY. — Although it may be allowed that a prejudice exists against adver- tisements for matrimonial alliances, still it is also well known, and must be admitted, that many very happy and prosperous marriages have so occured; it is also well known that the season of courtship is, in general, one of gross deceit and hypocrisy on the part of both, which by advertisement is wholly obviated, both parties knowing what they are about, and the truth must be made apparent.

I think the lawyer makes too much of the honesty of advertisements. Perhaps the best argument for them was, and still is, effectiveness. If the advertisements enable people to find a happiness they would not otherwise find they have served their pur- pose. Here is someone responding (by advertisement) to an invitation he read in the Daily Advertiser sometime in 1760: Whereas I had long despaired of meeting with a temptation to enter into the holy state of matrimony, till taking up the paper of Friday last, I read the agreeable advertise- ment of a Lady whose Sentiments jump so entirely with mine, I am convinced we are cut out for each other, and therefore take this method of describing myself: I am a Gentleman of unexceptionable good family: losses and crosses have reduced my fortune to my wardrobe ,a diamond ring, a gold watch, and an amber-headed cane: but as you have generously said you don't even wish a fortune, I imagine this will be no hindrance: my person is far from disagree- able, my skin smooth and shining, my forehead high and polished, my eyes sharp tho' small, my nose long and aqueline, my mouth wide, and what teeth I have perfectly sound: all this, with the addition of a flaxen full bottom. . . .

Unfortunately, the Daily Advertiser does not go on to record whether the publica- tion of this description brought the penni- less nob any happiness.