SPECTATOR'S NOTEBOOK .
J. W. M. THOMPSON
In theory, political parties ought to be rather good at advertising, since their entire existence depends upon their ability to commend themselves to the consumer. A manufacturer at least has his product to speak for him if his advertisements aren't very effective, but a party deals mainly in bright hopes. Why then is political advertis- ing so frequently dismal? The Labour party's investment in whole-page advertise- ments in recent days seems a bafflingly nugatory exercise. Most likely the Conservatives will do no better when they start spending their money again in this way; and as for the Liberals' promised campaign on the theme of 'Trust', probably the less said the better. The answer may be that any advertising of this sort is bound to be a confession of failure. The newspapers freely report what the politicians do and say if it is interesting enough.
But even by this standard the Labour advertisements are strange. They consist, as readers may have seen, of three sentences extracted from Mr Wilson's speech at Newtown in July of last year. As it happens, that speech was an interesting one and was widely reported; however, the inoffensive sentiments now reprinted in type of enormous size then attracted no attention. (The Times, for example, while reporting the speech at some length, did not report this passage at all.) The reason is plain. The words now singled out for expensive promotion ("The task of a Labour Govern- ment is to direct change into channels which help to make the country strong' etc., etc.) amount to nothing but the vague, self- congratulatory noise all politicians some- times make to oil their speeches along: once heard, never remembered. By some unfathomable ad-man's alchemy, this is now supposedly transmuted into the pure gold of political wisdom. It occurs to me that if you changed the word 'Labour' into either 'Conservative' or 'Liberal' the advertisement would be equally acceptable to each party in turn; and I don't think much of that as a Unique Selling Proposition.
The masters' voices
In any case it is rash of the propagandists to revive memories of that Newtown speech, for its real targets were not the Tories at all but the rebels within Labour's own ranks. Mr Ray Gunter had just resigned more in anger than in sorrow, and the party was 'seething with rumour and discontent as never before during Mr Wilson's leadership' (Tunes, 4 July 1968). One backbencher, Mr Austen Albu, asserted on television that `a majority of backbenchers' would like to see Mr Wilson replaced. Whereupon Mr Wilson made his fierce speech to quell the mutiny. How odd that his incidental observation to the effect that the Labour party was, broadly speaking and in the light of all the circumstances, against sin, should now be plucked from its painful context to be a beacon for the future.
By coincidence this advertising campaign has come along just as two masters of the art of political self-advertisement have been demonstrating the other approach with con- spicuous success. Mr Enoch Powell and Mr George Brown both have that mysterious quality which repeatedly lifts them into the headlines without putting
them to the expense of buying advertise. ments. Mr Powell's speech on the Common Market gained even more space free of 'charge than Transport House bought for 'Mr Wilson's great thoughts—and that in a press largely opposed to his new views on .Europe; while Mr Brown somehow got the newspapers to send men all the way to 'Belper to report a press conference which he held there in order, evidently, to announce that he felt very fit (good news, of coursel but that he was disappointed by the -ruc (well, who isn't sometimes?). The day when Messrs Powell and Brown have to bin space in the papers to state their views really will be a landmark in our political history.
Floreat
The authors of the second 'Black Paper' on education (due soon) may care to recruit an unlikely supporter to their unfashionable ranks in Mrs Indira Gandhi. At least, I for one was rather startled by a statement of hers quoted in a new book called Governing Elites (our 60s). Says that well known progressive: 'The public school has been much criticised in our country because of the feel- ing that it caters only to a limited section of society and is expensive to•maintain. But it is a useful institution and gives all-round education . . . We cannot afford to neglect quality, or else the future of the nation will be in jeopardy. It is essential, however, to have an increasing number of scholarships so that highly intelligent children from all classes could benefit from public school education . . Its teachers . . . must necessa- rily be of a higher standard than those in ordinary schools. I am glad the Indian Public Schools' Conference is looking after their interests . . . ' I'd like to hear Mrs Gandhi trying to put that across at a National Union of Teachers' meeting.
Money for nothing
The scene: Liverpool Street station. A small commotion is heard coming from one of those vending machines which sell bags of sweets. A man who has put in his money but received nothing in return is banging and kicking the machine angrily. A small group gathers to watch. 'These damn things are always going wrong', says the frustrated customer. 'Let me have a try', says an onlooker; he puts in a sixpence, presses the button, but again nothing happens. Then he too falls to kicking and banging. 'The owners of these things must make a lot of profit'. says the first man crossly. 'Why not write to them and ask for your money back?' asks someone. It turns out that the machine bears no address to which complaints can be sent. General indignation. A porter is appealed to. 'Don't ask me, it's nothing to do with the railways', he says and walks away. The passengers drift away to their trains, out of pocket. Some no doubt brood on man's destiny to be ultimately defeated by machines of his own creation. Others may wonder more practically why British Rail allows unnamed machines to deprive passengers of their sixpences—especially since, as fares continue the upward trend, they are soon going to need all their resources merely to buy their tickets.
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