New life
Dressing down
Zenga Longmore
veg stalls, she instantly brightened up. This seedy drama repeated itself in every clothes shop we entered.
It was interesting to note the reaction her screaming had on various people. One woman, an Indian lady dressed demurely in a cotton sari, hurried over to me to say, `Why don't you give her a smack? Not hard,' she added quickly, noting my shock- ed expression, tut just hard enough to show you're annoyed with her. You should never let a baby get the better of you or you'll spoil her.' The lady's companion, presumably her daughter, pulled me aside to whisper. 'Don't take any notice. There's no such thing as spoiling a baby. Give her whatever it is she's crying for.'
A middle-aged Nigerian lady began to roar with laughter at the sight of Omalara's discomfort. `1.Th uh! What a face!', she boomed, expertly removing the miserable babe from my arms. 'Now what you must do is this. Lie her face downwards across Your arms and stroke her back gently like so. See, she's stopping crying.' She had indeed, for a three-second gap, but only to draw in more breath for the next crescendo of noise. 'Ha ha ha. What fighting spirit. I love to see a strong-willed girl. Mine was just the same at this age, and now her husband knows his place!'
Far and away the most common reaction to the yelling was the muffled mutter, `Fancy taking a child out when you can't control it. Some people just aren't fit to be mothers.'
There were so many opinions on what a `good mother' was that my head began to swim with the effort of keeping up with them all. One thing I do know, however, is that I won't be buying clothes for a very long time. If my sister Boko continues to allow me to borrow her dresses, maybe the clothes ban can last until Omalara starts school.
Meanwhile, the debate still rages in the Independent. Should, or should not, child- ren be allowed in restaurants. 'Yes' said an article a few days ago. 'No' replied a disgusted diner, and went on to say some- thing along the lines of, 'children in res- taurants put decent citizens off their food by shouting, staring, and displaying atro- cious manners. Until British parents teach their children to behave, restaurants should totally bar them.' Hear, hear! In the interest of the prevention of cruelty to children, may I suggest that no child, British or otherwise, be allowed to sit for hours on end, 'minding her manners', while snooty diners wince every time the hapless child carves her steak with the fish knife. The hungry infant should be led to the nearest McDonalds, where the staff are too overworked to recall their dislike of children. And how comforting for mothers to know that the place will be so full of other red-faced parents, trying desperately to control their young, that no one notices the odd chicken McNugget being flung against the wall.
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