14 FEBRUARY 2004, Page 63

Q. What would be a fitting response to the extremely

patronising remark 'My goodness, you've got him well trained!' This whenever my husband serves, clears (and has often prepared) a dinner party. Such behaviour is still obviously unacceptable to the majority of guests, even in these enlightened times, and among forty-somethings. I am normally left speechless. Please help.

Name and address withheld A. Why not reply, On the contrary. He's got me well trained into just standing back and letting him do everything. Didn'tyou know that housework is the new leisure activity of choice? It's so soothing compared to real life.'