14 JULY 1967, Page 23

Two-act play

Sir: Another two-act play (with apologies to D. C. Rose): Dramatis Personae: Mohammet Ali, Mr Smith, PC Bloggs, Moslem policeman.

Acr 1. (Scene: Mohammet Ali's house, any Moslem town.) Mohammet Ali, holding glass and cigarette, answers door and lets in Moslem policeman. Moslem policeman: What are you smoking, sir? Mohammet Ali: Only cannabis.

Moslem policeman: Oh, that's all right. But what's that you're drinking?

Mohanunet Ali: Well, a gin and tonic, I'm afraid.

Moslem policeman: Come alongerme. (Exeunt.) Acr 2. (Scene: Mr Smith's house, anywhere in England.) PC Bloggs: What are you drinking, sir? Mr Smith: Just a gin and tonic.

PC Bloggs: Oh, that's all right. But what's that you're smoking?

Mr Smith: Well, cannabis, I'm afraid.

PC Bloggs: Come alongerme. (Exeunt.) Diana Berthoud (age fifteen, if it matters) 13 Shirley Church Road, Croydon