No. 554: The winners
Trevor Grove reports: Readers who felt a trifle bored at the sameness of the fare offered by most festivals in this country were invited to liven the scene up a bit by devising a programme for a totally novel kind of festival, where public per- sonages from vividly contrasting walks of life might be featured doing their own (or anybody else's) thing. The Whitsun week- end no doubt partly accounts for the large and accomplished entry, from which it was especially hard to winkle out this week's winners. Most competitors appeared to agree that some kind of political entertain- ment should feature prominently in the festivities. Harold Wilson, for instance, proved a performer of truly catholic versa- tility—contortionist, word-eater, poll-squat- ter, etc; background music on the clanger from Dick 1-Can't-Open-My-Mouth-With- out-Putting-My-Foot-In-lt Crossman was a much-bruited attraction; so were striking performances by the Mc, exciting exhibi- tions of himself by Gerald Nabarro, and impromptu appearances by whizkid Wedg- benn ('computerhum continuo'). l-o. a non- political festival we turn to W. J. Webster, who wins live guineas: The theme at Rickmansworth is creative participation. Peter Brook's Carnival of Holy Cruelty with communal plainchant and barbecue will undoubtedly be the high- light although rival attractions include the mass baptismal opening ceremony con- ducted (weather permitting) by a team of itinerant West Indian rainmakers, and a twice-nightly corruptibility test at John Trevelyan's gamy spectacular Up Wardour Street with Knife and Gum. For the open- air exhibition various local objects have been designated ArtFacts by Michael Kustow (look for the KA sign) and visitors will be offered blank catalogues for noting their responses. (A concert of random music may also take place: this will be decided shortly afterwards.)
Four guineas to Peter Peterson:
This new arrival promises well. In the visual arts section there are talks on Advanced Colour Discrimination by Ian Smith, and on Images -Old and New by Harold Wilson, while the musical items include what is expected to be a striking perform- ance by the TUC. Among other interesting new works are an Organ Fantasia by Dr Christian Barnard, sure to be full of un- expected combinations, and Philip Roth's 'Variations on a Popular Theme' (for right hand alone) in which A. Portnoy is to be the soloist. The highlight of the pro- gramme, however, is unquestionably the first public performance of Updike's
Couples, in which the composer himself will conduct his Willing Consort.
And three to N. J. Rock :
Puddlecombe-Undermud, celebrating its recent elevation to dormer-urban status, presents a Festival of Time. The 245,000 inhabitants, led by the Minister of Trans- port, will parade their cars, as daily habit, along the narrow lanes, while John Gielgud recites All our Yesterdays. At each side, rural activities (muck-spreading, spraying, hedging, ditching, roadmending), will be demonstrated by pop groups. Cattle-cros- sings, milk-collections and tractor-break- downs will be arranged by local Unions. 'Diversion' signs will indicate country-danc- ing in situ; while craftsmen and produce- sellers have hired stalls for the week in popular bottlenecks. Puddlecombe-Under- mud believes that after the Festival, 'pro- gress will have a different meaning.
Finally, here are some random tips for fraught festival directors: E. 0. Parrott suggests Betjeman on Garden Gnomes and a Gower Street Competition Festival— Martin Fagg reading Tim O'Dowda, Tim O'Dowda reading Martin Fagg etc; Jeremy Maule proposes a festival for the Heaven and Hell Amalgamation Society (fly-past by the 2nd Squadron of Seraphim, readings of Paradise Lost by ss George, Christopher and Barbara) and Tony Joseph a San- itary Inspectors' Festival—held at Looe, opened by the Marquis of Bath and feat- uring a drains trust. Honourable mentions to John Digby, and 0. P. Nicholson, and a final extract from P. H. O'Brien Burk- ley's freakish entry : 'The ruined abbey sets the scene for this year's Peace-Out Festival of Ontological Music to honour Edward Lear. Sponsored by Coca-cola and the Dutch Jesuits, the basic theme is interstellar per- cept-sex. Earl Russell will interpret a Tibetan rendering of The Y onghy-Bonghy- Bo. Micheal MacLiammoir will read from the Kuala Lumpur Telephone Directory ...'