Westminster corridors
Friday. the Sixth day of June Seated in my Library and there occupied in the Study of ()economical Cataclysms in Past Times (to which Topick I have but lately paid Attention so that 1 might be ready for the Future being manufactured for us by Cambridge °economists and such Statesmen as they influence), I was aroused from my Reflections around noontide by loud Sounds of Rejoicing in the Streets, by the Ringing of Church Bells and by the petty Explosions of Fireworks, and, venturing forth, I was astounded to see a vast Mob composed of Citizens of every Class and Rank, but principally of the Middling Description, engaging in Publick Dancing, Idle Merriment of various kinds, the Inordinate Consumption of Champagne and other Liquors, freely-dispensed Kissing and Promiscuous Fondling, and all the Practices traditionally associated with the Outbreak of War.
"Huzza, Huzza!" bellowed a portly Fellow, whose mode of Dress proclaimed him to be the Master of some Counting-house. " 'Tis Safe Deliverance from Rule by Fanaticks, Levellers, Muscovites, Fifth Monarchy Enthusiasts and those _who would foolishly meddle with Counting-houses."
At once 1 divined that the cause of the Great Entanglement must have triumphed — assisted, as it had been, by Promises that Victuals would
be provided Cheap and Plentiful by our generous French Allies (and only starvation otherwise), by the Pledge that our Legislators would be as Free and Unfetted as ever they were, and disposing of greater Power to boot by cooperation with our idealistick Franch allies, by the Contention that a European .hegemony would offer a secure Bulwark against Muscovite hostility; notwithstanding that our brave French allies have ever intrigued to prevent such Stratagems, and, above all else, assisted by the furious Opposition of Master T. Benn. Thus, Ppondered to myself: Surely, matters will never he the Same again.
Having hastened to my favourite Grub Street tavern, there to discover from Conversation with Trimmers, Attorneys and Scribblers what seemed the likely Consequences of this Famous Victory (surely the first in which a People hath overcome itself and sold itself into Slavery), recognised my Friend from the Countinghouse, in company with several others of the Speculator and Merchant classes, all engaged in Conspiratorial discussion. For, inasmuch I understood their Plotting (it being difficult to grasp Nuance whilst affecting to make a close study of lists of vintage Champagnes), they were determined to effect a permanent and irreversible shift of power away from Fanaticks, Levellers and Workmen's Combinations and towards such Statesmen as would guarantee a quiet Life for Merchants.
Their chosen Mode of action was to bring about an Administration of All the Talents, which they hoped to install unshakably in Office by means of Electoral Reform, or 'All Power to Master Rees-Mogg'. As to how this great Re-arrangement might be accomplished, or which Statesmen might be induced to play leading parts in its Formations (in addition to Master and Master Thorpe whom they assumed would gladly, nay desperately, accept office), or whether Mistress Thatcher would agree to serve in any Post except that now occupied by the Great Chameleon, — all such Topicks were Matters on which they could express no useful opinion, being innocent in all things but the Manufacture and Sale of household items. Nonetheless, they purposed to continue the Discussions and to tempt Statesmen to join with them in these ambitious Stratagems.
Departing thence, I encountered in Grub Street itself a small crowd gathered about a stout, red, moon-faced Fellow, with the bearing and manner of a Churchman of the Evangelical persuasion, such as might have stepped forth directly from Master Bunyan's improving Tract.
"My Friends," he addressed them, "I come among you to preach the cause of Moderation that bath this day won so signal a triumph, and yet which must assuredly lapse and decline if honest men fail to Combine."
"What be this Moderation of which you speak," inquired a simple Rustic at the rear — or rather one who would affect to be a simple Rustic, for mine eyes did penetrate the disguise of Master R. Butt. `Doth it include the takin over all landed prop'erty by Clerks and Statesmen? Or the Crushing of all schools that would persevere in the task of Education?"
"A pox on thee," bellowed the pious preacher. "Moderation be such as I and other Advocates of the Cause choose to make It What I oppose is not Moderation." Which makes me reflect that this wondrous cause must assuredly rise and prosper if honest men fail to combine.
Torn Puzzle
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