No. 1266: The winners

Jaspistos reports: Competitors were asked for riddles (with answers) in the same 1.0:,_113 as 'Why is a raven like a writing-desk?, me bird and the domestic object varying acc°r- ding to pleasure. Readers of Alice, like Alice herselfci thought it was very provoking of the Mad Hatter to waste time posing riddles with II° answers, and for years Carroll was born- barded with inquiries as to whether any answer could be imagined. Eventually, if the Preface to the 1896 edition, he offeren 'a fairly appropriate' one, viz. 'Because it can produce a few notes, though they are very flat; and it is almost never put with the

wrong end in front.' Sam Lloyd, the American puzzle maestro, thought he could do better and proposed either 'Because they should both be made to shut up' or 'Because Poe wrote on both'. Some wiseacre suggested 'Because each begins

With e', and a disciple of Dr Spooner came uP with 'Because it bodes ill for owed bills'. Finally, I myself came to the rescue by poin- ting out that both contain rivers, though

they flow in opposite directions (Neva and Esk). For those of you who have a taste for this sort of thing, all this and much other fascinating information and speculation

can be found in Francis Huxley's great work, The Raven and the Writing-Desk (Thames and Hudson).

Back to business. Some of you, in- evitably, produced very similar riddles and

answers, in which case I favoured the neater version. Scarcely anyone, to my surprise, Produced more than one entirely satisfying riddle-and-answer, so this is a week in

which the prize money (£2 per winning entry) is spread popularly thin.

Why is an avocet like a writing-desk? Because bills turn up on both.

(Monica G. Ribon) Why is a wheatear like a thermal vest? Because the 'heat' is in the 'wear'.

(Alec Stevens) Why is a condor like a refectory table? Because it's designed for a big spread.

(Peter Veale) Why is a canary like a cocktail-shaker? Because each is usually seen behind bars.

(M. K. Cheeseman) Why is a woodpecker like a hot-water bottle? Because one is known for head-beating and the other for bed-heating.

(A. Nomet) Why is a vulture like a plate?

Because the first is used to carrion food and the second is used to carry food on.

(J. R. Partington) Why is a corncrake like a banister?

Because one is a landrail and the other a handrail.

(0. Smith) Why is a wagtail like a shoe? Because two make one walk. (Myers James) Why is an emu like a saucer?

Because both 1 heir flying capacities are doubtful.

(Aubrey Bush) Why is a coat like a bed?

Because one provides a reeded nest and the other a needed rest.

(Margaret Mary) Why is a parrot like an electric tin-opener? Because they both make ruddy silly wedding presents.

(Ewan Smith) Why is a ptarmigan like Jane Fonda's Workout Book?

Because they both start with PT.

(John Sweetman) Why is a goose like a carpet?

Because with both you need a good gander at it before successful laying.

(Nell L. Wregible) Why is a turkey like a guitar?

Because both have to be plucked before they can be enjoyed.

(V. Ernest Cox) Why is a house martin like a large bucket of coal?

Because it needs some good 'eaves.

(Paul Griffin) Why is a dodo like a gold piano? Because if someone says he's got one he's probably lying.

(0. Banfield)

Why is a female sandpiper like a piece of st ring?

Because she can be made into a granny knot.

(Joyce Johnson)