Better than Butler ?

SPECTATOR COMPETITION No. 267 Report by Mervyn Horder Dean Swift suggested a tax on female beauty, to be assessed by the payers themselves. This he thought certain to be profitable, and cheerfully paid. Competitors were asked to devise, for a prize of £5, a really lucrative new modern tax, and extol its advantages.

I HAD hoped in my feeble way that the combined brain power of Spectator readers might excogitate at least one sensible idea; that What the Butler Saw in his issue of April 15 might positively help him in his Budget debates; that perhaps my personal burden of taxation might be reduced by squeezing the other fellow in some way. But no. Macabre, dotty, vindictive these many ideas were, but few indeed in any way prac- ticable. Only one competitor (D. Wylow) suggested taxing advertisements, which is successfully done in many European countries, and he must have half the prize; the other half goes to H. A. C. Evans for an unanswerably simple idea (if it could once be instituted). Of the rest many went for a tax on keeping up appearances, and of these 1 must quote Colin Prestige's entry, which I find impossible to understand, so I feel sure there must be something in it. I also liked P. M., A. Macdonald-these are printed- S. G. E. Lythe, R. B. Browning, Robert Waterhouse and C. W. H. Young.

PRIZES (D. wnow) An Advertisement Tax Elegant ladies and gentlemen framed in luxury smoking large cigarettes, a jolly bar- man offering me a huge tankard of beer, the happy family grouped around the television, the two white-shirted boys-one not so white, a gigantic bottle of sauce, and a bundle of enormous sausages heading for the sky, these manifestations and many more like them greet me at the street corner and reproduced on the pages of my magazine threaten to devour all the reading matter. Much money, a relief to me, no doubt awaits you, my dear Mr. Butler, should you care to tax advertisements!

(H. A. C. EVANS)

A Strike Tax

I think the most lucrative tax would be one on strikes. Strikes are now obviously an accepted part of the British way of life, and there is every indication that they will extend even more widely among the population than at present. It should therefore be a fruitful, all-the-year-round, tax. Moreover, it would have similar advantages to Morton's Fork-if my failing memory is not at fault. Thus, if strikes occurred, the tax money would flow into the public coffers; if the tax discouraged strikes, the blessings of maintained productivity would result. Either way the country would benefit.

COMMENDED

(COLIN PRESTIGE)

A Tax on 'Keeping up with the Joneses'

AMOUNT PAYABLE: The aggregate of seven- ninths of the net income tax 'payable otherwise than by virtue of additional liability under the provisions of any initial marginal allowance less a one-tenth balancing charge by the over- all average of those neighbours by whose standards equality or superiority of living is maintained and eight-sevenths of the purchase tax relief allowable where such is less than four-tenths of the unadjusted area average and exceeds by more than twice the customs and excise surcharge (if any) of the adjusted area average calculated as if the mean average except as aforesaid exceeded the net dis- allowance reliefs by more than six-tenths of the gross average of the two previous years, MERITS : (a) Being based upon neighbours' tax assessments, constantly increasing mutual tax liabilities are inevitable. (b) The onus of appeal for overcharge lying on the tax-payer, he must thoroughly comprehend the above basis of assessment

(P. M.)

I suggest an Avoirdupois Tax on all who fail to turn the scale at the weight specified as correct for their age and build; this to be levied twice yearly after a test by the com- petent government authority; children under sixteen, invalids and expectant mothers to be exempted on production of appropriate cer- tificates; a super-tax (called Gross) to be levied on the outsize, and another (called Fine) on habitual fashion-slimmers; the normally healthy, whose under- or over-weight assess- ment after one year remains static or deterio- rates, to incur a corresponding tax increase; guidance leaflets and advice clinics to be avail- able to all, the whole scheme to be run in con- junction with existing health services. Such a tax would ensure a better standard of looks and efficiency and provide revenue for welfare purposes.

(A. MACDONALD)

A tax on ladies' hats would yield prodigious revenue. My proposals are as follows :

1. Every hat purchased to be assessed forth- with by a local tribunal.

2. Local tribunals of married men to be set up. Each tribunal to be assisted by a professional comedian as assessor.

3. Hats to be graded. The more laughably fantastic to be placed in a 'Super Class' (S) and ruthlessly taxed. Others, less fan- tastic. to be classified (A) to (E), and taxed on a descending scale. Ordinary sensible hats, if any, to be unclassed (U), and issued tax-free to old-age pensioners.

4. Each hat to be provided with a disc show- ing letter classification and also (most important) date of issue.

Imagine the added interest to afternoon tea parties, and the furtive attempts to ascertain letter classifications and dates-all grist to the Chancellor's mill.