YOUR PROBLEMS SOLVED
Dear Mary. . .
Q. I recently had lunch with someone who I was hoping would give me a job. I was dis- concerted all the way through the lunch by the fact that this person's nose appeared to have bled earlier in the day — there were Speckles of blood still evident on the end of it. .I feel sure that my failure to say some- thing led to my being rejected for the posi- tion. She would have been embarrassed to see her nose next time she went to the loo, and to have realised that I must have seen it too. But how can you mention such a thing to someone you don't know very well?
C.IV., Audley End, Suffolk A. I find the following solution useful for dealing with such problems. Always be ready to speak promptly the moment you have noticed any form of nasal detritus. Say Pleasantly, 'Oh, you've been sniffing lilies you've got pollen on the end of your nose. How lovely!' Anyone with any intelli- gence will make straight for a mirror and gratefully remove such waste. They will be thrilled that you thought it was pollen and only too eager to push from their minds the suspicion that you were perfectly aware of its genuine composition. Q. I live in Elm Park Gardens, Fulham, and ours is one of the very few houses in the neighbourhood to have a front garden. This means that we are plagued by inconsiderate neighbours who take their dogs for a walk at night, under cover of darkness, with the deliberate intention that the dogs should come into our garden to 'spend a penny'. I know this because I have even seen one person letting his dog off the lead outside our house. What can we do to prevent this?
Name withheld, SW3 A. I am familiar with the houses in question and suggest that you deal with the nuisance once and for all by having a cattle grid installed. This will be perfectly acceptable to the officials at the Royal Borough of Kensington and Chelsea providing that you are the owner of this access area. T.H. White of London Road, Marlborough, is a firm which would make up a 'dog grid' and be willing to arrange installation.
Q. I recently, out of nervousness, stood up for Lord Michael Pratt when having drinks before luncheon in a private house. As I am a woman, I presume this was incorrect. What is the correct protocol about whom one stands up for in a private house and should one take one's cue from one's host- ess or not?
Name withheld A. It is best to be prepared for any eventu- ality by pretending that you enjoy standing anyway in the run-up to such luncheons when people are assembling in staggered groups. You can pretend to admire paint- ings or views until such moment as lun- cheon is served. Alternatively, you can pre- tend to be so engrossed in conversation with someone that you have not noticed a new arrival in the room until you are sure what the others present are doing.
Mary Killen
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