No. 477: The winners

A very good entry this week. Style was an obvious target for those who read the last Word Game report, witness the indignant Pamela Bethel!: 'The judges of your Word Game have obviously formed an attachment for a par- ticular style of entry. ...' Not so—though some kind of form, faithfully adopted, is usually the mark of the five-guinea winner. However, this week Edward Samson comes in as favourite, and demonstrates that parody is by no means the only road to success:

One is left with the unhappy, but inescapable impression, that the jury formed its verdict, not upon the style of the book, which, of course, was not in question, but upon the way they imagined it might affect the mythical virgin mind, which might more accurately be termed provincial. The quotation of shocking passages, the emphasis upon the book's salacious trim- mings by counsel, who not once inquired the

views of supposedly_ readers, were artfully designed to ofend puritan members of the jury, whose choice of literature certainly conformed to that professed by the prosecution. And worse, the verdict implied that the pub- lisher was, not a map of progressive literary discretion, but a mere huckster of pornographic trash.

There is a danger that in adopting a literary style the words given might not necessarily be appropriate to it. This was especially noticeable in some of the lamer attempts to accommodate puritan and huckster. Not so Dr W. I. D. Scott, who understands the importance of being earnest in these matters :

LADY BRACKNELL Plans must now be formed for the wedding, Mr Worthing. It will be natur- ally one of considerable style. Are you High or Low Church?

ERNEST I really do not know, Lady Bracknell. There are certain aspects of the Virgin Birth . . .

LADY BRACKNELL Mr Worthing, such language, whilst no doubt respectable in provincial circles . . .

ERNEST It is a quotation from Dr Chasuble's Book of Sermons.

LADY BRACKNELL The ceremony will, of course, be High Church. One should not be required to endure the rigours of Divine Service without benefit of the trimmings.

ERNEST Have you inquired of Gwendoline's wishes?

LADY BRACKNELL Certainly not. Gwendoline's inclinations are, unfortunately, low. I believe there was a Puritan among Lord Bracknell's ancestors.

ERNEST I know that she has usually conformed to your wishes, but in this case . . .

LADY BRACKNELL In what case, Mr Worthing? Would you have your nuptials vulgarised by congregational singing, with a common huckster thumping in the pulpit?

Molly Fitton gets a special mention for another good Wilde parody, but Vera- Telfer breaks newer ground with her pastiche of Ivy Compton-Burnett : 'I fear that your sister's mind is not being formed socially in our own style.'

`Our mother remembers,' said Melissa, 'that Clorinda remarked that only a virgin should be married in white.'

'And that since we do not accept provincial notions such a governess-like quotation could only be inspired by a governess.

'Lucius understands me though I deplore his pleonasm as much as Clorinda's phrase "orange- blossom and all the trimmings."' 'Are you outraged at Miss Mundy's tolerance of slovenly English or her intolerance of our conventions?' inquired Melissa.

'She has the puritan prejudice of bringing sex into marriage.'

'And why should she not? It seems a most suitable place.'

'Does my son wish Clorinda to accept the ideas to which her governess has conformed?'

'It is useful that she should learn that a girl wearing white at her wedding is sometimes like a huckster passing off his stall-soiled goods as new,'

Five guineas then to Edward Samson, and three guineas each to W. I. D. Scott and Vera Telfer. Maria Carr's was the first entry opened to identify the source as George Eliot's Middle- march and wins the special prize of one guinea.