High life
Swiss shame
Taki
Although there is no crime to speak of in Switzerland, Swiss jails are bursting at the seams and have been for generations. Like Swiss hotels they are full of foreigners. About ten years ago, the Swiss voted to build more jails and within days of comple- tion the new prisons were also full. No sooner do foreigners arrive in good old Helvetia, then they are almost immediately jailed. Unlike the law-abiding Swiss, for- eigners do not obey laws to the letter, and are regularly thrown into the pokey as a result. Albanians, Serbs, Croats, BOSIllariS and Italians dominate the prison rolls. Last week in Gstaad an Arab spat on the sidewalk and was immediately reported. Once inside the pokey, it transpired that he was the bodyguard of an oily type, who got him out after paying a rather stiff fine. There are many among us who believe the Swiss encourage the towelheads to spit, especially during the off season. When the Swiss are not jailing and fining foreigners they keep busy by voting. A Swiss votes more times per annum than the average Englishman votes in a lifetime. National Assembly, Cantonal government, town and community voting aside, the Swiss also have referendums on an average of four times a year. The moment there are enough signatures, any issue can be put to a vote. The Swiss would never tolerate peo- ple like Heath, Howe, Hurd and the rest of the galere that sold Britain down the Brussels Swanee while the populace was asleep. A referendum turned down EC membership long ago, not to mention the UN, All Swiss men from the age of 18 to 55 possess automatic weapons, yet random shootings are almost unheard of. Swiss Women were the last women in Europe to be given the vote, with a few cantons hold- ing out until the late 1970s. This is the good news. Strict law and order, no spit- ting, no camel riding in the middle of town, and no entangling alliances with Third World money-spinner institutions such as the UN and politico-enriching bodies such as the EU. Oh yes, I nearly forgot, taxes are also kept low and there is no VAT. Foreigners are brought in to do menial jobs and the moment they finish they are once again exported to where they came from. Now for the bad news. The Swiss will like the Rumanians and Hungarians — sell their mothers for a handful of francs, but unlike the Magyars they will not even deliv- er. Money talks louder here than anywhere else on earth. So much so that even Swiss- air, once upon a time the best airline in the World, has now begun to resemble Olympic Airways, by far the worst in Europe. Here Just one example: last week Sir Jocelyn Stevens, a regular commuter between Lon- don and Geneva, arrived one hour before the scheduled departure and checked in without luggage. He always occupies 2A in club class. On this particular day he was told that his confirmed reservation had been cancelled and he was not given a rea- son why. Jocelyn has been known to shout and on this occasion he outdid himself. In order to quieten him down the Swissair honcho admitted that he had given all club class seats away to a bunch of towelhead Princelings and their Filipino nannies. Racism,' charged Stevens. 'You prefer a few brownies to Anglo-Saxons.' Eventually the Swiss gave in and Sir Jocelyn made it to Gstaad and lunch with Taki but it was a d. anm close-run thing. None of us believes in equality, but it's a hell of a bad day when a bunch of young oily ones get the likes of J,ocelyn thrown off. The next thing I know have to share the swimming-pool with a camel. The Swiss should be ashamed of themselves.
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