YOUR PROBLEMS SOLVED
Q. I am the proud owner of the most adorable Cavalier King Charles spaniel. He is not only the most perfect companion, he is also wonderful with children. The Only snag is that his extraordinary beauty causes passers-by endlessly to stop and stroke him and to engage in conversation with me. Last week this occurred at Victo- ria station and, as a result of the delay, I missed my train to Brighton. What can I do about it?
1. St C., Brighton, Sussex 4. The solution is perfectly simple. Fit your dog with a muzzle. Admirers will then keep their Ming hands away and you will be able to travel unmolested.
Q. When I was married to my wife our social life seemed to just happen and we Went each week to almost too many dinner parties. When we separated I was told that in. 3' new status of single, heterosexual, not impoverished man of 45 would ensure a constant flood of invitations. These do not seem to have materialised and I am won- dering what I am doing wrong. How can I best pep up my social life, Mary? I am not sure how to go about organising things to
Dear Mary.
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do in the evenings as my wife always did it in the past. Name withheld, London W8 A. Just as children take the roof above their heads for granted, many married men are under the impression that social life 'just happens'. In fact their wives must work tire- lessly, making silent, unsung efforts or 'run- up' overtures at every opportunity. In this way they ensure that the basic frameworks and safety-nets are in place for a satisfacto- ry social life and that the groundwork has been done and a display of friendliness taken place before invitations can be issued or received. You are now too old for retraining but you can still achieve a passive result. Stimulate the memories of your erst- while dining companions by standing in your smartest suit at bus stops in places like Bond Street, Kensington High Street or Notting Hill Gate for up to an hour at a time. You should trawl in at least three people per hour per bus stop who have not seen you for some time and did not like to ring you in case you thought you were being exploited as a spare man. In no time at all the invitations will be being verbally issued and you can give out your phone number to facilitate these new encounters.
Q. A frightful bore at my club sits just inside the door as I come in. How can I avoid him intercepting me and holding me up when I want to talk to others?
Name withheld, London SW1 A. Why not stuff your cheeks with tissue paper and alter your gait as you walk through the main lobby? In that way he will not recognise you until it is too late.
Mary Killen
If you have a problem, write to Dear Maty, clo The Spectator, 56 Doughty Street, London WC1N 2LL.
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