COMPETITION

No. 566: Speed bonny car ...

It is reported that a bridge may be built to link the island of Skye with the Scottish mainland, in order to stimulate economic development. Competitors are invited to indicate how the old song, 'Over the sea to Skye,' will have to be rewritten to take account of this; or how any other tradi- tional song, linked to a famous place, may be brought up to date to take account of similar modernisation. Maximum, fourteen lines. Entries by 29 August.

No. 563: The winners

Charles Seaton reports: The Sun newspaper. which the International Publishing Corpora- tion will cease to publish at the end of the sear, ought not to die without some memorial and competitors were invited to compose an epitaph, or epigram upon its fate, or other suitable commemoration. Though there were a number of serious butes to the Sun—witness this extract by

Crooks:

,n sets. like evening Star.

nd one more paper dead,

And may there be loud moaning at the bar, When it is put to bed.

!nal and Midnight Sun.

nd after that Stop Press,

\ [id may all other papers mourn this one LI deep distress.

--its impending demise provoked some sharp digs. Adam Khan's, which wins three guineas, was rather more unkind than most: long live the Cock that's Herald to the Sun, That daily lights the Shepherd to his Flock: But here lies That which no such Fame has

won— Sun that was Herald to a load of Cock.

Better treatment came from M. K. Cheese- man with his formal epitaph: Here lieth all that is left

of our beloved newspaper

THE SUN illegitimate offspring of the DAILY HERALD gone now to that Elysian Fleet Street where all newspapers thrive

where all circulations top the five million mark where advertisers beg on their bended knees for space where everything editors write is the complete truth

where everything a newspaper says about

itself is true

where left-wing policies work on earth, as the late lamented Sun found

to its regret All that is left, lieth here.

He also wins three guineas. I am glad to welcome William McGonagall to our columns in the person of E. 0. Parrott. His verses are entitled 'The Great Sun Newspaper Disaster': I weep for the unhappy demise of a London newspaper called the Sun A lamentable event which will be deplored by almost everyone. It is practically certain to cease publication at the end of nineteen hundred and sixty-nine Unless an eccentric millionaire called Mr Robert Maxwell can rescue it in time.

The Sun was a newspaper dedicated to the cause of the Labour party A political. movement that of late has not been very hale and hearty. It is fact that is sad but requiring to be said That in supporting the reds, the Sun

got itself into the red.

It is a very sad thing indeed when a

newspaper has to die The thought of writers losing their living always makes me cry.

I especially hope their wives and children will not starve, and, for pity's sake, Trust some charity will give them bread, and perhaps even a little cake.

Three guineas again. Mentions for N. J. Rock, R. L. Sadler, Mrs V. R. Ormerod, Russell Lucas, Martin Fagg and Douglas Hawson. A final three guineas goes to George van Schaick: 0 what a wond'rous thing Has mighty Cudlipp done! He who deposed a King Has now put out the Sun.