From Bruce Buck Q. Through no fault of my own,
I have found myself in the enviable position of being chairman of Chelsea Football Club. As you might expect, a number of politicians, rock stars, titans of business and other assorted hangers-on have become my new-found best friends. They all think I can get them free tickets, but I cannot. In order not to disappoint, I acquire the tickets, pay for them myself and then give them away to court favour with these galacticos. With Christmas around the corner and everyone wanting tickets to the Liverpool match in January, the financial burden on me is getting to be too much. I am star-struck and want to maintain these new ‘friendships’. I need advice as to what I can do to stop the give-away of tickets.
A. Being star-struck afflicts many mortals who find themselves in a position such as yours, and as you may secretly hanker to be blinded by flash photography as you alight at a designer-clad gathering of your new closest friends, the investment that you are making is surely a sound one. Considering that you are chairman of the Royal Borough’s football club, the answer is to proffer these covetable match tickets upon receipt of a generous donation to the Chelsea Pensioners Appeal, which you will thereafter be able to present amid much fanfare to the controller of the Royal Hospital.
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