Radio
My new love
Michael Vestey
The unthinkable has occurred. I've been listening to a programme about com- puters. I shall tune in every Friday after- noon when Loved On appears on Radio Four. Entering nerddom like this is extremely embarrassing and I fear I might begin to talk like a Rory Bremner imper- sonation of John Major. I might even utter strangulated Majorisms like, 'With the retirement of Dickie Bird something sad will have gone out of English cricket.'
Worse, I have taken to discussing com- puters with friends, using all the ghastly jar- gon as if I'm Bill Gates himself. A few weeks ago I would have disdained pro- grammes like Logged On and wouldn't have touched a computer magazine in case I caught something but now, if there isn't a new e-mail message in my Inbox, I start to fret. Oh, yes, Inbox. For those happy souls who've managed to avoid the world of keystrokes, it's where the messages are lobbed over the net to arrive on your screen. Anything else you'd like to know?
I itch to send this column by e-mail but The Spectator's system can't take it, appar- ently. I thought they still had quill pens in Doughty Street, anyway. Logged On is meant to be for failed technophobes like me, though on the evidence of the first in this new five-part series I'm slightly ahead of complete newcomers. The programme does wear an anorak but then, I fear, so now do I metaphorically. Not long ago I was a contented Amstrad user who thought a mouse was something that chewed through the skirting-boards. When the machine gave up and went to Cyber-heav- en I was compelled by necessity to upgrade, as we say. And before I forget, I mentioned in a previous column, when I was still in deep pain from the learning process, that an organisation called Dave's Disc Doctor Service in Paddock Wood in Kent rescued material from Amstrad discs and put them on modern discs. As readers have asked me for the telephone number it is 01892 835974. They charge £20 a disc and most of the proceeds go to charities. Although there's been an astonishing growth in home computers not everyone needs to have one. A woman interviewed on Logged On said she was thinking of buying one but wasn't sure why. It sounded unnecessary in her case. But for people getting started this programme is extremely useful.
Sunday mornings on Radio Four is a problem area I have noticed over the years and as a result I often prefer silence; I'm not that keen on music of any kind first thing. From ten past seven there is a pro- gramme called Sunday which reflects reli- gious, quasi-religious and humanist views, all of which tend on the whole to be politi- cally progressive in nature, over-familiar and therefore of little interest to me. So, many listeners have to wait until 9 o'clock to hear a broader news and current affairs programme, the slowly improving Broad- casting House. A couple of readers have written to me saying they dislike Radio Four early on Sunday mornings but I can tell them there is an option over on Radio Five Live.
This is Breakfast with Andrew Neil, from 6.30 to 9, and quite good it is, despite too many trails and jingles. I've been listening to it for several weeks and find Neil, the former editor of the Sunday Times, an extremely fluent and natural interviewer and presenter though, of course, he has been broadcasting for years. Last Sunday, for example, he had plenty to feast on with the publication of Margaret Cook's account of life with Robin. He interviewed the shad- ow foreign secretary Michael Howard about the revelations and Howard cleverly replied that Cook should be sacked, not because of what his ex-wife said about him, but for his blunders as foreign secretary.
Present too were biographers of Cook and Gordon Brown to discuss why Robin hated Gordon, why Gordon and Robin hated Peter and why, as Hugh Pym for Brown wondered, Clare Short also hated Robin, 'which we didn't know about,' said Pym with some surprise. In fact they all hate each other though we do know from his own admission that the culture secre- tary Chris Smith fancies Tony Blair so at least there's no loathing there.
Neil also conducted interviews about fraud at the European Commission and the severe problems facing the National Health Service. Tackling the usual whining from the public sector about more pay, Neil asked someone if it would ever be possible to finance the NHS and nurses pay out of taxation, a question rarely heard from most interviewers. Usually it's 'Why can't the government provide more money for the NHS?' As a friend remarked to me recent- ly, if you listen to BBC Radio from 6 a.m. to lunchtime and all such questions about public spending were answered with an affirmative, taxation in this country would have to rise by many billions of pounds. Neil is a sharp and fair interviewer and really does play the role of devil's advocate. So, for listeners who prefer speech and are bored by Radio Four on a Sunday morning, there is a lively alternative on Five Live.
`Well, sure it's been done — but in chopped liver?'
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