Dear Mary
Q. I have a six-week-old baby and have been invited to a lunch party by a neighbour. It was going to be my chance to meet all the other mothers in the street and chat about schools and so on. Now another mother has rung to say that she is bringing her 18-month-old son, with chickenpox, to the party, adding, ‘Everyone else’s children will be at school but I thought I should just warn you in case you might prefer not to come if you are worried about your baby possibly catching it.’ Am I right in thinking that this mother should be the one to stay at home, rather than ordering another mother to do so? I was so surprised by her call that I thanked her and said I would probably stay at home, but what should I have said, Mary?
Name and address withheld A. Babies cannot be inoculated against chickenpox until they are one year old and it would be dangerous for your six-week-old to catch it. You should have thanked the selfish woman for her consideration in warning you and then said you had a brilliant new reference book on childhood diseases, ‘so let me consult it and ring you back in case there is something new in there that can help you.’ Ringing back, you would then read her out a paragraph or two on chickenpox (from the internet if necessary), stumbling as though reading it for the first time and, concluding in the same monotone with a final sentence inserted by yourself: ‘Parents whose children are suffering from chickenpox should not take them to social events. Good Lord,’ you can go on, ‘that must mean that you had better stay at home then, instead of me! What a shame we won’t meet!’
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