Straight talking
Petronella Wyatt
Iwasn't aware of the news this week that .Robbie Williams's sexuality has been the subject of speculation, as one newspaper put it, throughout his pop career. Mr Williams's former manager, Kevin
Kinsella, now claims that his one-time charge is definitely gay. He said, 'I think he is totally gay but controlled by parame ters which say that you can't come out and say you are gay because it will affect your career and sales, and people may not love you.' Mr Williams himself has declined to comment.
Most of Mr Williams's fans are women, so I presume that he means that girls would be put off buying his records.
Personally, I find this idea nonsense. As a member of the female sex, I think I speak for many girls when I say that I am put off by men who don't declare their sexuality as opposed to those who do. Indeed I decidedly unlove them.
When a gay man fails to make clear he is gay, it constitutes a type of sexual abuse against women. It simply isn't fair. Where does it leave us hanging in the air?
There are an increasing number of gay men who give gays a bad name in this manner. What I mean is that they ask women out on dates and never tell them that their proclivities preclude any kind of romantic activity. In other words, that they find these women as sexy as a dead halibut. This can lead only to anxiety, disappointment and eventual blind rage. I know women who have wasted months going out with good-looking men, wondering why they never made a pass. They begin to question their attractiveness and eventually conclude that all males regard them as sisters.
There ought to be a law against it. If a gay man asks a woman on what falls into the category of a date — that is, a meal a deux after eight o'clock at night — then he should immediately declare himself. I realise that for many gays this is difficult — perhaps they are afraid of their parents finding out, let alone the public — but it is something that has to be done. A failure to be frank simply whips up anti-gayism among the girls.
I speak from experience. alas. A good many years ago I met a charming, hand some young man who kept on asking me out. After roughly six dinners nothing had happened. At first I suspected he was just terribly well brought up or cripplingly shy. But after a few months and a couple of meals under the seductive Italian skies, I began to think something else. That totally and completely lacked sex appeal.
Then hope resprung when he suggested we go on holiday to a place that might be described as 'exotic'. We arrived at the hotel where the manager naturally assumed that we were somewhat friendly. He was surprised, therefore, when he discovered that two rooms had been booked, albeit next to each other.
The first night, we had dinner in a restaurant full of mooning couples. Afterwards we returned to the hotel and took the lift upstairs. At the door of his bedroom, my friend turned to me and said, 'I'm rather tired, I think I'm going to go to bed and read.'
`Oh,' I replied rather despondently, and shuffled into my own room to brood.
After four nights of this, I began to become angry. Why had I been asked on holiday under false pretences? Finally, I confronted my friend in a singularly pathetic and roundabout way. It took two hours for him to admit that he was, in fact, gay. His reason for not telling me was fear that I would dislike him. But I ended up disliking him because he hadn't told me. I kept thinking, rather balefully, of the price I had paid for the air ticket and the rather expensive hotel room.
No doubt this was petty on my part, and I later repented. But, after I had returned to London, I told the story to a declared gay friend. He was shocked and appalled by the man's behaviour. He said he ought to be horsewhipped. Gays should not behave like that. It was sneaky and dishonourable.
If what was in the newspapers this week is true, it's no wonder, then, that Robbie Williams has had a series of brief, failed relationships with women, including Rod Stewart's former wife, Rachel Hunter. Had he told them whatever the truth is at the beginning I am sure one of these relationships might have become something more permanent. After all, there are women who are delighted to many gay men. As long as they know they are gay, that is. As Oscar Wilde said, 'You cannot keep a secret from your own wife. She invariably finds it out.'
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