No. 534: The winners Trevor Grove reports: Competitors were invited
to compose an intelligible piece of prose around ten given words, taken from the opening pass- ages of a well-known work of literature; an exercise which this week not only attracted an enthusiastic number of new competitors to the fray, but also saw almost as many sink hopelessly beneath a welter of uncontrollable verbiage, clutching at straws which in most cases turned out to be the next of the given words. Thus, like Sterne, from whose A Sentimental Journey the ten words were chosen, many took to themselves a vagrant motto : 'I think there is a fatality in it—I seldom go to the place I set out for.' Five guineas therefore to Peter Peter- son, who was not of their number; 'a rescued page from the first draft of Carlyle's The French Revolution': Forthwith, Majesty gives order: Let proclama- tion be made! Though in this civil war the Sans- indispensables now triumph, it shall not always be plain sailing for the revolutionary bark. Black breeches shall yet sit down, in longed-for Paris, to choicest banquets—boiled, roast, and fantastically fricassee'd—while breechless hun- ger shivers at the door. For God Himself— mark this l—hath set Us in Our Place: to which He will incontestably restore Us.
Well said, Majesty, very well said! NeVer- theless-0 purblind Legitimacy l—a certain Artillery-Major, whose shabby, green port- manteau is even now being lugged up three flight of stairs in shot-torn Toulon, shall teach thee—legitimate monarch as thou art—that thy proclamations are but froth and sentiment.
Choosing the runners-up proved a delicate business, and of the many contenders there is only room for extracts from three of them: This evening I had to order Lupin to keep a civil tongue in his head. Carrie, of course, took his part, and Lupin celebrated his triumph over me by sending a vulgar Valentine card sailing across the room. Cummings suddenly opened the door and was hit full on the nose. To my surprise he only smiled. He had come to ex- plain his absence yesterday, caused by falling off his bicycle and tearing his clothes.
'Breaches in the breeches!' I said. Carrie and I roared, but Lupin and Cummings glared sourly. Nevertheless Cummings stayed to share our supper of fricassee'd chicken—incontest- ably the same bird as appeared yesterday. Later Mrs James arrived unexpectedly from Sutton, bringing a huge portmanteau of the latest fashions . . .
Three guineas to J. R. V. White, and three, for another scrupulous parody, to N. J. Rock: It was a standing order that none should ap- proach Homblower until an hour's-perambula- tion of the quarterdeck had engendered in the Captain a civil humour. Lieutenant Bush con- cealed his impatience, but his anxiety was not unmixed with triumph as he glanced once again at the captive Natividad' sailing two points to windward. He chafed his cold hands on the seat of his breeches. If he'd had his way, he'd have fricassee'd the Spaniards in their own olive oil, but Hornblower had argued, incontestably, that they were a greater prize alive.-So were they a greater risk—and he, for one, would not- be sorry to step ashore with portmanteau and prize- money, and have done with the- whole voy- age . . .
And a further three guineas to 'Miss J. A.' alias Captain Rochester: Some years ago, Miss Julia Darling, of Devon- shire, who had something in the order of two thousand pounds a year and who had always enjoyed a reputation for good sense and a civil disposition, suddenly disobliged her family by eloping with a lieutenant of marines without fortune or connections. The wilful triumph which followed the shabby ceremony at Ports- mouth was soon curtailed by the young groom receiving his sailing orders. This circumstance left him with barely enough time to collect his uniform breeches from his tailor, to feast his young bride on fricassee'd chicken and to assure her of his infinite good fortune in being aboard what was incontestably the finest ship in the service. Then, portmanteau in hand, and with his trunk following behind, he chased away to serve his monarch with an alacrity that be- trayed the shallowness of his sentitnent to- vtards the unfortunate young lady.
B. Smith wins the guinea for identifying A Sentimental Journey. T. Griffiths, Edward Sam- son and Hilary Temple, who another week would undoubtedly have been prize-winners, earn very honourable mentions. A beautiful example of the modern 'virtual play' two-mover.
One of the minor oddities of Lugano was that Monaco-42nd out of 53-finished two places above France who were 44th. This was a worst ever for France and a very creditable result for Monaco-largely due to the excellent play of their top board Casa; here is a beautiful game that he won in the preliminaries.
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