17 JUNE 2006, Page 79

Q. Close friends and neighbours are opening their garden to

the public in order to raise money for a local charity. We know the garden well, of course, but although I had intended to support our friends by helping to swell the numbers, my husband is adamant that we should not go. He says our friends would ‘definitely not want to be distracted by us on the day’. I have taken a straw poll of other mutual friends and they agree with my husband — they should not ‘clutter up’ the garden while the owners are trying to show people round. One of them even said he was not going because he would not wish to appear to be ‘snooping’. Mary, can you rule on this? Do those who open their gardens want their friends to be among the numbers?

Name withheld, Wilts A. There is widespread misunderstanding about this issue. Far from not wishing to have friends snooping in their gardens and distracting them during an open day, all gardeners crave feedback and recognition of the work they have put into their garden. They want to have it from as many people as possible. Your husband and friends are wrong. Their failure to attend could well be construed as disloyalty.