SPECTATOR COMPETITION No. III

Report by Lewis Petrie A prize of £5 was offered for christening three first days of the month other than 1st January, April and May.

At the risk of seeming pedantic, may I point out that couplets contain two lines, not four, and rhyme ; that the title was to be given to the day, not the month ; and that the terms of the com- petition were deliberately drawn to exclude anniversaries, including saints' days, and even the first publication of the Spectator on March 1st, 1711. But such disqualificatory blemishes were rare, and most competitors complied manfully and ingeniously with the specification. None of the nine possible first-days was left unchristened, and favours were distributed pretty evenly over each, though there was a tendency for March 1st to be redolent of leeks and other effiorescences of the Welsh genius (no one mentioned daffodils) and June 1st of roses. The following single specimens give the general idea :- February 1st—OLD SOAK'S DAY (Dianalaw) March lst—Dorrv DAY (J. Aitken) June lst—CLotrr DAY Sumer is i-cumen in : Doff the thick and don the thin.

(Rhoda Tuck Pook) July lst—ALL SALES DAY (J. P. Mullarlcy) August 1St—ROAD SAFETY DAY (Mrs. V. R. Ormerod and Joyce Johnson) September 1st—GUNNERS' DAY Every partridge Hates a cartridge.

October 1St—MUSHRO0M DAY November 1st— November 1st is Little Bang : Five days later is Bigger Bang.

(W. D. Gilmour) December 1st—Lts-r DAY (Joyce Johnson) LISTING DAY (P. M.) As always in this type of competition, consistency wins the prizes ; and it is for that quality, among others, that a first prize of £2 goes to W. Bernard Wake, and second prizes of £1 10s. each to Douglas Hawson and Allan M. Laing. Highly commended—G. J. Blundell and 0. Moore (whose last couplet is a triumph of mnemonic suggestio falsi). (E. W. Fordham) (Eric Swainson) FIRST PRIZE

(W. BERNARD WAKE)

February 1St—PLUMBERS' DAY

Feb. 1st Pipes burst:

July 1st—Mm-YEAR DAY

July the first divides the way From New Year's Day to New Year's Day.

September 1st—WoowEs' DAY

In September don the clout That you cast when May was out.

SECOND PRIZES (DOUGLAS HAWSON)

February 1st—ALL SPINSTERS' DAY

All Spinsters—February First, All Bachelors now fear the worst !

July 1St—MIDDLE DAY

Middle Day is July One

Six of the twelve months now are gone. September 1st—GRINDSTONE DAY Grindstone Day comes with September, No holidays till late December.

(ALLAN M. LAING)

June 1st—Ross DAY

Forget blue fingers and red noses : Today begins the month of roses.

September 1st—OYSTER DAY Oysters pop up in every bar Since in September there's an R. November 1st—No DAY

No Day begins November's mood, So full of Noes, it is no good.

HIGHLY COMMENDED (G. J. BLUNDELL) February 1st—SNOWDROP DAY

The snowdrops from the sky are not so bright As those sprung up from earth in dazzling white.

March 1st—HARE DAY

We humans have not come to spring ; The hare has, and must have his fling.

June 1st—HAY DAY Waxes the joyous hey-day of the hay,

And wains wax great before it wanes away.

(0. MooRE)

June 1st—BLUE LETTER DAY

Good Tories celebrate this glorious day

That ends the gathering of red flags in May. August 1A—SUCKLEMAS DAY Landladies cheer for whatever the weather ' The suckers and August come in together. October lst—OCTOBER BAR HOLIDAY " Judges are sober On the first of October.