SPECTATOR CHRISTMAS QUIZ

Set by Christopher Howse

Verb sap? This year: 1. Who told an audience of country-house owners: 'You, the freelance custodians of our historic country houses, are - if I may say so - the drones of the hive'?

2. Who said: 'Vincent Van Gogh sold only one painting during his lifetime, and that was to his brother Leo'?

3. Who said: 'If the implication is that we should sit down and talk with Mr Adams and the Provisional IRA, I can only say that that would turn my stomach; we will not do it'?

4. Who said: 'I don't exclude myself on a scale of ratbaggery . . . I'd come in at seven I think'?

5. Which pop singer said in court: 'I used a body double. I'm afraid that my body is nowhere near as good as that. He was con- siderably larger than me and had no hair on his chest'?

6. Who said: 'Granny will always be there with her views. I don't think you should be expected to conceal your views on any par- ticular matter. What is the point of being in the House of Lords if you do?'?

7. Who said: 'My only sin is that, having worked together for 18 years, from time to time I dared to disagree'?

8. Who glossed foreign phrases thus: 'Oft est le bureau de change? - Where do I cash my benefit cheque? Mio bambino e in Italia - Send child benefit to my family in Italy'?

9. Who said: 'I don't think the chat show has had its day, but good, intelligent con- versation is becoming harder to find'?

10. Who asked: 'How many apples short of a picnic?'? Up and down This year: 1. Who blessed crowds with his left hand after breaking his shoulder?

2. What tax put the squeeze on fresh orange juice?

3. Which company's fortunes swung from net assets of £1.26 billion at the end of 1991 to net liabilities of £399 million at the end of 1992?

4. Whose salaries will go up from £30,854 to £32,536 by 1995?

5. Forty crew of which yacht came down with food poisoning?

6. Who kept England out of the World Cup despite being defeated 7-1?

7. Where was the Queen confronted with a placard reading: 'Shame on those who con- sented that the key of our City be given to the killer Queen'?

8. Which City closed at the Prince of Wales after losing £2.5 million?

9. Where beat Peking to the Olympics?

10. Whose novel was voted the best ever to have won the Booker Prize?

Sport Frank Keating asks: 1. Where are the 1994 Winter Olympics; Commonwealth Games; and soccer World Cup?

2. Whose first ever delivery in an Ashes Test bowled Gatting at Old Trafford?

3. Was the captain of the British Lions 1993 rugby team an Irishman, Englishman, Welshman or Scot?

4. Which cricketer received an OBE in the birthday honours list 61 years after his last Test match appearance? 5. Who left where before of Sugar in his T?

6. Which country cricket scorebook this summer familiarly registered: 'Mike c Terry b James 21'?

7. Who won the 1993 Grand National?

8. After a thrilling 1993 Cup final at Lord's, Chamberlain lifted the trophy. Who was Chamberlain?

9.`YANKS 2, PLANKS 0'. To which event did this Sun headline refer?

10. Ian Botham, Derek Randall, David Gower and Chris Tavare all did what in 1993?

Spades . . .

1. Who began a poem: 'Spade! with which Wilkinson hath tilled his lands'?

2. Which poet called spades 'the emblem of untimely graves'? 3. What is the espada on a Spanish pack?

4. ' "Let Spades be trumps!" she said, and trumps they were.' Who was she?

5. In The Importance of Being Earnest who says: 'I am glad to say that I have never seen a spade. It is obvious that our social lives have been widely different.'

. or clubs 6. To what club did Mycroft Holmes belong?

7. What was Jeeves's club?

8. Where did Mr Twemlow think the best club in London?

9. Which is the oldest principal London club?

10. In what lane was Dr Johnson's club?

Evergreens 1. Which Green is the hero of an Oxford novel by Cuthbert Bede?

2. Who was Sir Gawain in competition with?

3. Which Catholic novelist was educated at Berkhamsted?

4. Who wrote A Groatsworth of Wit bought with a Million of Repentance and A Disputa- tion Betweene a Hee Conny-catcher and a Shee Conny-catcher?

5. What is the capital of Greenland?

6. To which hospital were the patients of the old dreadnought Seaman's Hospital transferred in 1870?

7. Which is the Green Mountain State? 8 Who was the author of A Short History of the English People (1874)?

9. Which English illustrator published

SPECTATOR CHRISTMAS QUIZ

Under the Window, Mother Goose and Little Ann in the late-19th century?

10. Which popular ballad is mentioned in The Merry Wives of Windsor?

Mother tongue Match the words to their definitions.

1. Croyl 2. Doiled 3. Foil 4. Soil 5. Roil 6. Boil 7. Hoyle 8. Toil 9. Moil 10. Broil a) To render turbid b) A furuncle c) A mark when shooting at rovers in arch- ery d) To set by the ears e) A tool for cutting ground accurately f) To fatten up fowl g) Indurated clay with shells h) The track of a hunted animal i) A net j) Crazy Florilegium 1. Which coin was introduced in England in 1849 as prelude to decimalisation? 2. Who conducted the Young Pretender, disguised as 'Betty Bourke', from Benbecu- la to Skye and Portree? 3. Which land did Ponce de Le6n discover on Easter day 1512? 4. Whose staff was said to have taken root and flowered at Glastonbury each Christ- mas?

5. Who yearned for a draught of vintage `Tasting of Flora and the country green'? 6. What are 'Showery, Flowery, Bowery'? 7. Which poet's Cloud brings 'fresh showers for the thirsting flowers'? 8. In which play does Shakespeare mention `lilies of all kinds/The flower-de-luce being one'?

9. According to Ophelia, what are (i) rose- mary; (ii) pansies for? 10. Where is the soliloquy set that begins: Gr-r-r- there go, my heart's abhorrence!! Water your damned flower-pots do!

Abecedary A. What is the chemical symbol for silver?

B. What did the Snark turn out to be?

C. Who instilled 'the manners of a dancing- master and the morals of a whore'? D. Which star is Sirius?

E. To which genus does the spiny ant-eater belong?

F. Which footballer's elbow fractured an opponent's skull this year?

G. Whose dream did Newman write and Elgar compose?

H. What would you call a sleeveless mail- coat, lighter than a hauberk?

I. Which mongoose-like creature destroys crocodiles' eggs in Egypt?

J. Who was the executioner of: Lord Russell in 1683 and Monmouth in 1685?

K. What would a Tartar call fermented mare's milk?

L. What are Holland, Kesteven and Lind- sey parts of? M. Mohammed fled from where to where on 16 July 622?

N. Who was a 'mighty hunter before the Lord'?

0. What did the NKVD replace in 1934? P. What did Theophrastus Bombastus von Hohenheim (1490-1541) call him- self?

Q. Name the hunchback of Notre-Dame.

R. What is Augustus Montague Toplady's best known hymn?

S. What was. H. H. Munro's pen name?

T. To what order of knighthood is Green Rod the Gentleman Usher?

U. Alphabetically, which state comes bet- ween Texas and Virginia?

V. Which goddess is connected with the Medici, Cnidus and Milo?

W. Which tax was imposed in 1691 and abolished in 1851?

X. Who was Socrates' reputed wife?

Y. What tree is the Taxus baccata?

Z. What is the opposite of nadir? Gratia artis 1. 'Arrangement in Grey and Black' is a picture of whose what?

2. Which saint did Bernini sculpt for the church of Sta Maria della Vittoria in Rome?

3. Whose putative ambassadors are accom- panied by an anamorphic skull?

4. In the 'Jan Arnolfini and His Wife' how many candles are alight in the chandelier?

5. In the Wilton Diptych, what badges do the angels wear?

6. Who painted 'A Dance at the Moulin de la Galette'?

7. Who was born first, Jacques Louis David or Francisco Goya?

8. Who died first, William Blake or John Constable?

9. Whose prints include: `Gin Lane' and `Beer Alley'?

10. What is the old woman cooking in the Velasquez picture in the National Gallery of Scotland?

Answers: page 99