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EXPLOSIVE PRINCESS
According to strict diplomatic protocol Diana, Princess of Wales, has committed a solecism by calling for the immediate out- lawing of all anti-personnel landmines. British policy — at the time of writing — distinguishes between various categories of mines and emphasises that their elimina- tion must be a matter of universal agree- ment and phasing out by categories. But should we make a meal of her intervention?
The Princess may or may not be 'Queen of Hearts', a demi-goddess articulating the suffering of mankind. But as divorced ex- wife of the heir to the throne — whose own political pronouncements are treated with reserve anyway — she is not mistaken for a British Government spokesman. Of course, it might be possible to attach a Foreign Office adviser to her, to advise her against such transgressions. But that would lend her a measure of representative authority which Whitehall and the Palace have done everything to avoid.
What, then, should our policy on anti- personnel landmines be? Unilateral absten- tion from their manufacture and use might win plaudits from shallow sentimentalists, but would put Britain at a disadvantage vis- a-vis the rest of the world which does not share our scruples. Underlying the dilemma Is the fallacy of disarmament — beating swords into ploughshares. A mediaeval Pope pronounced against the crossbow with as little effect as the subsequent denuncia- tion of guns. As a result of the Anabaptist uprisings, the Peasants' War, the Thirty Years' War and subsequent chaos, over half the Holy Roman Empire's population was killed off one way or the other, without ben- efit of modern military technology.
The Princess was speaking in Angola. The causes of war there stemmed from the Soviet drive into Africa to fill the vacuum created by premature decolonisation. `National liberation movements' were accepted by our own Bien-pensants with the uncritical enthusiasm which invariably accompanies their latest causes, one of which is now landmines. In Central Africa, a million people were killed with machetes and similar implements. Landmines, like other weapons of war, will be produced, marketed and used so long as they serve the extension of policy by other means'. By
contrast, advances towards demilitarisation and conflict resolution have been achieved in areas as diverse as the superpower con- flict and Latin America.
Hence the division of labour between `consciousness-raising' activities like the Princess's and military-political diplomacy may safely be left where it is.
Not Goethe Institutes, nor town twin- flings, exchange trips, or tours by the Berlin Philharmonic have ever done so much to win sympathy for Germany in Britain, and perhaps elsewhere, than the advertisement in the International Herald Tribune — in the form of an open letter to Chancellor Kohl — signed by various Hollywood artistes,
likening alleged German treatment of Sci- entologists to that of the Jews. The signato- ries included Miss Goldie Hawn; Mr Dustin Hoffman; Mr Oliver Stone; Miss Tina Sina- tra, who is presumably the sister of the more famous Miss Nancy Sinatra, since it is unlikely that anyone on the list named Sinatra would have no link with the even more famous Frank; and Mr Gore Vidal, who it could be argued is not a Hollywood celebrity but is undoubtedly a celebrity from somewhere.
It was explained that the signatories are not Scientologists, but act on behalf of their fellow celebrities who are. The latter, who presumably feel themselves threatened by German tyranny should they ever fall with- in the jurisdiction of the Bundesrepublik, include Mr John Travolta, Mr Tom Cruise, his wife Miss Nicole Kidman, Miss Demi Moore, and Mrs Priscilla and Miss Lisa- Marie Presley, respectively wife and daugh- ter of Mr Elvis Presley, whom we had bet- ter still refer to as 'Mr' since he is constant- ly reported as being happily still with us.
The British are gently mocking about most of the religions which have reached the world from the United States. Evelyn Waugh satirised Mary Baker Eddy and Christian Science. Doorstepping Mormons — especially their holy book dictated by an angel visiting upstate New York in the 19th century — are always good for a laugh, though we tend also to respect their indus- try and honesty.
But we do not extend this affection to Scientology. That is associated with luring the gullible off the street into well-financed offices, worrying them about their 'person- alities', and parting them from their money. Lonely au pairs are thought especially vul- nerable. The Scientologists give the impres- sion of being more persecuting than perse- cuted. For once, any alleged German heavy-handedness is excusable. There are also limits to how much American oddness Germany, Britain or any other European country can be expected to tolerate. Ameri- can football, just about; Scientology, and Hollywood film stars doing almost anything outside their films, no. But we would have more respect for these exhibitionists if they refuse to accept any royalties earned in Germany.
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