THE MODERN DAUGHTER
BY AN APPRECIATIVE MOTHER.
"H OW I wish mother would not ask where I have been and what I am going to do. Of course, I never go anywhere or do anything that she would not approve of, but it's maddening to be asked questions."
These few words explain the character of the modern girl better than many long stories about her short- comings; she is entirely different in manners and in out- ward appearance from the girl of twenty or even ten years ago ; and yet at heart—no matter what may be said to the contrary—in ten cases out of twelve she is much the same. It is the fashion to be casual and even insolent to your elders, but that does not mean that very often there is not a definite respect for them behind this manner ; in fact, just as much so as in the days when it was the fashion to appear humble and obsequious. In spite of the apparent restless rush of amusements, girlslave never given up so much of their energy and time to work of all sorts as they do to-day. In many cases the work is difficult and hard physically and mentally, and yet they carry it through with a determination that does credit to their powers of perseverance and good will.
The opening sentence of this article is often the cause of trouble and friction between mothers and daughters, because it is not easy for mothers to accustom themselves to this new order of things, and try as they will they can- not help remembering their own youth with its totally different point of view. "Girls—and for the matter of that boys to even a larger extent—are much more selfish nowadays. The world belongs to them and they intend that it shall serve them." To a certain extent this is good, provided that youth is worthy to be served. It is always easy to hold up individual cases to public view and say that that is what all the young people are like nowadays,, but this is not true ; the majority of England's youth are sound in mind and body, whatever the croakers may say to the contrary. The other day a mother reproved her daughter for replying to her, "All right, Old Bean." A surprised voice said, "Why, don't you understand that I should not call you that unless I loved you ! " The great aim and object of young people is to be independent, and for this reason they dislike restrictions of all sorts. Here, again, this does no harm if they are worthy to be trusted,. as in most cases they are. Girls as well as boys have their own latch-keys, come and go as they please and seldom misuse the confidence placed in them. If any- thing does happen it can generally be explained by the way in which they were brought up—under what sort of home influence.
In the days before the War (because, after all, the War is the real cause of this extraordinary change in our young people) children did not know anything about their parents' lives beyond what went on at home ; now nothing can be hidden from them.
In some ways this is an advantage, because hypocrisy has always been one of the greatest of sins and it is almost impossible nowadays. There are, of course, many quite young girls who are brought out into the world in the same sweet, simple way as their mothers were ; but if these mothers are wise they will themselves protect their daughters by seeing that their innocence is not neces- sarily ignorance, and this protection will bind them closer to each other in the only real love which must include• mutual trust and confidence.
These young people may be as independent as they like, but it is a fact that whenever they are in any real trouble their first thought is, "Where's mother ? " She is still even to these up-to-date children the centre of all that is best. Many daughters will say that much of this is ridiculous simply because they are afraid that by owning how true it is they may make their mothers think they are not as strong-minded and self-willed as they wish to appear. They have just as decided ideas about what is good for parents as those parents used to have about what was best for their children—ideas which nowadays if they are wise the parents will keep to themselves. There is no reason why home life should not be as happy now as in the so-called good old days, if parents will adapt them- selves to present circumstances and be very patient. They must remember that what perhaps was good for them would be fatal for these highly-strung young spirits. By letting them have the freedom which they demand as their right, parents are knitting them far closer to them- selves and their homes than they have any idea of.
"It was not until I made a fool of myself, because I was too proud to ask mother about it, that I realized what an angel she was." So said one of these young independents not long ago. While admitting how difficult is the life of many mothers to-day—and this applies to all classes alike —we must realize there has never been such friendship and companionship between them and their children. And although they may sometimes feel left out in the cold, if only they are tactful and long-suffering they will find their reward in the devotion of their children, as did their own parents.
One of the chief complaints about these young people is that they have no sense of responsibility, and one wonders what sort of mothers they will make when their turn comes. One of these up-to-date girls who used to boast that she much preferred a motor-car to a baby is now the possessor of a son, and when reminded of her boast she replied : "Did I really ever say that ? Why, I would not change my precious Tiddley Winks for all the motor-cars in the world." So much for that reproach.
After all it is no use for parents to rebel against the present order of things ; it is a problem that has to be solved by each family within its own circle, and when the change is accepted as inevitable, and parents and children take the advantages as well as the drawbacks in the right spirit, then and then only can the true standpoint be reached. Surely it is better to have the companionship of a daughter in everyday life than to have that curious Victorian feeling between mother and daughter when they led absolutely different lives, knowing nothing of each other's real characters and not even wishing to understand one another. Now they both share the same joys and sorrows, dance, play the same games, and really very few mothers, and still fewer daughters, would go back to old conditions.
The outward view which the world gets, and by which it judges the majority because it knows only the small minority, is of a short-skirted, shingle-headed, go-as- you-please young woman, while all the time England's girls still represent all that is best in womanhood.
M. C.
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