SPECTATOR SPORT
England for Prime Minister
Frank Keating
I HAVE a recurring dream that England are going to wallop the West Indies in the Test series. So vivid is it that I can recommend to Mr Major that his only remote hope is to cash in with a June election.
If Thursday, 13 June, might be tempting luck too much, how about Thursday 27? Both days immediately follow the first two Test matches, at Headingley and Lord's respectively. England dramatically two up — which they will be — and the country will be anybody's. Even the Conserva- tives'.
Although it was to backfire, of course, the same simple sporting strategy obsessed Harold Wilson 21 summers ago. He too had a year to run in 1970, but called a special meeting of the inner cabinet at Chequers in May and decided to make a dash for it the following month on the presumption that England's (then very good) soccer team would still be successful- ly defending the World Cup in Mexico, and that a good quarter-final win the day before polling day would put the nation in contented heart with the status quo. In his rumbustious autobiography, Denis Healey tells how 'Wilson put the consideration clearly before us at Chequers' — although when it was pointed out to him, 'he remained worried that if the team was defeated just before polling day, Labour would suffer, but on learning that the match would be shown on television very late at night he decided to ignore this'. At his peril, for so it came to pass — England 2-0 up against (of all teams) West Ger- many, with 20 minutes to go, Harold contentedly puffing his pipe. Then Eng- land's reserve netminder in the yellow jumper, Bonetti, lets in three softies. England 2, W. Germany 3. Enter Mr Heath.
Mr Major should have no qualms. The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that England have the beating of the West Indies this time. Even on the swings- and-roundabouts theory — England stand love-15 down on the last 15 Tests between the two sides over here, so they must get a couple over the net some time. The time has come.
Discount the flexing, pipe-opening one- dayers which begin next week. I'm talking Test matches here — and sense the elite guard from the Caribbean (Richards, Greenidge, Dujon and Marshall) are old and bored and rich and weary suddenly, and that the mid-order squaddies are not, relatively, going to be too much cop when the going gets tough. Well, they have not been allowed much initiative training. The awesome, brooding, commandant, Richards, has for too long been leading an awestruck brood.
Has, even, the great champion's batting gone? When he comes to the wicket these days, in recent Test matches anyway, a savage venom fills his eye and makes him blind even to the consideration of playing himself in. The long innings are over.
The blazingly audacious, sustained swag- ger and dominance of Richards at the crease have had England cowering just as much in the field as its batsmen have cowered in the face of the West Indies' resplendently cruel, relentless, head- hunting quartet of fast bowlers. Also, that lot, this time, do not seem overmuch to worry about. We shall see.
There is still time for Mr Major's only hope — 27 June, the Thursday after the Lord's Test. England two up under a blue, blue sky. Muhammad Ali once said, 'Black folks ain't scared of black folks the way white folks are scared of black folks.' In cricketing terms that just ain't true any more.
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