YOUR PROBLEMS SOLVED
Dear Mary.. .
Q. I have a small godson, Angus, whom I adore and whose birthday parties I always help to organise as his mother and I are very close. What I would like to know is how can you stop the other mothers from sending their nannies, instead of coming themselves, with the children we invite? Although I am often the only man there, that is never a problem as far as conversa- tion with the other grown-ups is concerned, but I find it inhibiting when there are one or two nannies interspersed with everyone else, sitting in complete silence just looking disapproving. As my godson's third birth- day looms, how can I make sure this time that his little guests at the party will be brought by their mummies and not by their nannies?
TR.P., London, SW3 A. This time, instead of posting out invita- tions, your friend should ring up the other mummies, trilling, 'Can you come to a mummies' lunch/tea on the eleventh?' When they say yes, she should cry, 'Bril- liant! Well, it's Angus's birthday as well, so Can you bring Hannibal/Tallulah because we'll have Kooky the Clown and all the usual birthday food and games and party clothes for the children as well!' Q. I used to despise mobile telephones and their users, until I got one myself. Now that so many people have mobiles and they can no longer be considered a resentment- breeding status symbol, are they still social- ly unacceptable? R.D.B., Northants A. The offence given by mobile telephones is nothing to do with status-linked resent- ment. On the contrary, mobiles have lately become low-status symbols due to their very visible popularity among petty criminals. The problem posed is one of psychological intrusion. While a two-way conversation in a public place can just wash over a bystander, a one-way conversation can not. The mobile-user is therefore guilty of effec- tively stealing mental time from those with- in earshot. Mobiles may be used in private (in train lavatories, the backs of taxis, etc.) but, yes indeed, they are still unacceptable in public places.
Q. We have a dear friend who is charm- ing, good-looking and blessed with a beautiful head of dark hair. When it start- ed to go grey, he looked wonderful. How- ever, to our consternation and that of all his friends, he is now dyeing it black. The effect on grey hair is to turn it a deep plum purple, bordered by a thin line of white. How can we possibly persuade him that it looks unappealing, even ludicrous, without offending him? We attribute this aberration to the influence of his wife, who also relies on artifice, so we cannot enlist her support.
Name and address withheld A. No, but instead you can enlist the sup- port of a homosexual male friend who should seize the first opportunity to make a pass at the man in question. When rebuffed, he can apologise profusely, explaining, 'Sorry, I must have misunder- stood your body language — the hair, you know.' You will find that your friend's hair will swiftly resume its natural colour.
Previous page
