High life
Not surprised
Taki
Athough I was a friend of Alan Clark's for more than 25 years, I have nothing to add to the tributes he's received except to say that he well deserved them. He died the way a man should die, bravely and without fuss. Like his friend Jimmy Goldsmith. Which brings me to a scumbag by the name of Richard Ingrams. I do not read the Sunday paper he writes for, but a friend send me a copy of Ingrams's column following Alan's death. 'It is so typical of a coward like Ingrams to strike after death . . .' wrote my buddy. I was not at all surprised.
While busy running down Alan, the scumbag also wrote that Jimmy Goldsmith was a crook, as outrageous and false a claim as is possible to make. Alan and Jimmy were loathed by people like Ingrams, and correctly so. Ingrams and the seedy types of Private Eye have never had access to anybody except other hacks. They have grotty wives and, in the case of Ingrams, his waitress girlfriend cuckolded him and had a child with a black man. All these things pile up and Richie-boy is a very bitter man.
Alan and Jimmy were Casanovas, but, more important, women loved them in the role of Casanova. This is a very bitter pill to swallow for people as mal baises as Ingrams, Hislop and the rest of the vul- tures. Look at Alan's and Jimmy's wives, girlfriends, houses, knowledge, achieve- ments and lifestyles. Then compare them to those of the lunch-bucket pilferers I mentioned above. No wonder Jimmy and Alan are pilloried. Clark's name is secure in history because of his books. Ingrams knows this only too well, ergo the envy and the malice.
And speaking of scum, I'd like to know what would happen to me if I said that I am not so sure about Adolf Hitler. That is what the traitor Melita Norwood said about the greatest mass murderer of all time, Joe Stalin, and it passed without com- ment by those assorted body-snatchers who give us the Guardian every day. As the Sun- day Telegraph very correctly pointed out, 'if it had been discovered that Norwood had spied for Hitler and the Gestapo, no one would now take the view that it would be wrong to prosecute'. Talk about double standards and injustice. A lifetime of treachery while serving the most evil regime in history goes unpunished, while a lifetime of loyal service to Chile lands one under house arrest in Britain. If this is jus- tice, I'm Monica Lewinsky.
But enough of such unpleasant subjects. The last three weeks in Gstaad have been wonderful, with cloudless skies, cool tem- peratures, and lotsa boozing and fun. All my good friends are here, starting with Aleko and Yohanes Goulandris, and I'm afraid we overdid things a couple of nights. The months of May, June, July and August are reserved for tennis, but September is karate time. There is a very good 'dojo' of the old school here, and I'm training very hard. Hangovers count in tennis but not in karate. My tennis tournaments began like a house on fire, but ended in disaster. I won in Flims, did so-so in Germany, and was wiped out in the first round at Klosters. Having stayed up all night boozing did not help. My German opponent advised me to go to bed after shaking my hand. No mat- ter how much one has drunk, the sight of a large Swiss peasant charging in concen- trates the mind like nothing else.
The last time I saw Alan Clark we lunched together as guests of Alistair Horne. Alan asked me why I continued to practise a sport where injuries are the norm. 'So I can beat the s— out of any hack that crosses my path,' I answered. `But they don't let them into clubs, do they?' quipped Alan.
Well, not in the clubs I frequent, but then one never knows. Life has become so topsy-turvy, even a pock-marked pseud like Ingrams might be brought to lunch in St James's, and then I'll have to resign for kicking the punk where you think. Now it's back to the Big Bagel via London, and I'm dreading it. Gstaad offers more than just beautiful mountains, pretty girls, gracious living and lots of sport. Thankfully it is also a place where the likes of Ingrams, Hislop, Rusbridger and their ilk are persona non grata.
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