18 SEPTEMBER 2004, Page 79

Q. Interrogatives like 'Are you seeing anyone?' are gauche and

unhelpful. Likewise 'What does your partner do?' or, to a third party, 'Is your friend attached?' When, increasingly, the lack of a ring signifies nothing, even among the more mature, perhaps. Mary, you might offer a discreet means of establishing a person's status.

I.S.W., Inverclyde A. You can trick people into revealing their romantic status by asking if they play tennis or bridge. If they reply in the affirmative, say 'Oh great — do you have a partner who plays too?' If they say no, say, 'Oh, what a shame. You don't have a partner, as they say, who likes playing?' Having ascertained their status you can then pretend you were only inquiring on behalf of a friend who is always on the lookout for people to play with.